New cases

• Queensland has recorded two locally acquired cases of COVID-19.
  • One case linked to Portuguese restaurant isolating throughout their infectious period
  • The other case is the FIFO miner from the sunshine coast that was announced yesterday afternoon who rapidly isolated. She was out in the community for one day before isolating.
  • The sunshine coast case attended a number of service stations and cafes as they had begun a road-trip, that they immediately cancelled when texted by Queensland Health.
  • The sunshine coast woman has been confirmed to have the Delta variant.
  • 170 FIFO Miners from the Granites Gold Mine who have flown home to Queensland are being rapidly tested.

New Restrictions for QLD

• Mask mandate implemented from 1am tomorrow, in the LGAs of: Noosa, Sunshine Coast, Ipswich, Logan, Redlands, Morton, Brisbane, Gold Coast, the Scenic Rim, the Lockyer Valley, and Somerset. The premier urges everyone to start wearing mask immediately. Masks must be worn indoors and outdoors unless seated for eating or drinking.
• One person per 4 square meter rule has been re-implemented with some flexibility for smaller venues.
• No change in capacity for ticketed, seated events
• 30 people per household
• Weddings and funerals have been reduced to a maximum capacity of 100 people
• No dancing, except for up to 20 people at weddings.
• Must be seated when eating or drinking in public places.

Other points from the press conference

• The premier and CHO have urged everyone who has received their first dose of vaccine to attend their second dose appointments as a priority. Not attending your appointment takes the opportunity away from others, and you risk not being properly protected.
• The Premier has indicated that Queensland will request lower arrival caps and stricter enforcement of exemptions at the national cabinet meeting this afternoon.

Queensland Health Graphic:

https://preview.redd.it/rhkon62i1y771.png?width=2380&format=png&auto=webp&s=ff9ab9944073f1b0fd6812162a478bb08cab3059

Recent close contacts

Refer to Queensland Health for Latest Information:

https://www.qld.gov.au/health/conditions/health-alerts/coronavirus-covid-19/current-status/contact-tracing

Quarantine and wait until further advice from Queensland Health

If you have been to this location in Queensland at the relevant tim

Confirmed by QLD Health, press conference will be held at 10:30 AEST, allegedly a mid 20s man who has been out in the community. Will update with more when it is available.

It's understood to be a case in Brisbane from an unknown source, hospital workers have been notified to be wearing masks again.

Seems to be in Stafford, developed symptoms on Monday, tested yesterday in Nundah, venues mentioned so far

March 20:

11am: Carindale shopping centre (several places there) HIGH RISK AREA

8pm: Baskin-Robbin’s ice cream at Everton park

March 21:

8am-9am: Fresh food market stall at gasworks, Newstead.

12.20 pm: Mamma’s Italian waterfront restaurant at Redcliffe

March 22:

Working at Paddington as a landscaper

12.30pm: visited Guzman y Gomez, Stafford City Shopping Centre

1pm Bunnings at Stafford.

March 23-24:

Isolated at home

March 25:

Tested at Nundah Village Family Practice, Sandgate Road in Nundah.

Visited Aldi at Stafford for about 10 minutes that day

ABC link - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-03-26/covid-live-updates/100028928?utm_source=abc_news_web&utm_medium=content_shared&utm_content=link&utm_campaign=abc_news_web#live-blog-post-1199368750

News.com.au link - https://www.news.com.au/national/breaking-news/live-breaking-news-joe-bidens-weird-response-to-gun-question/live-coverage/f34974a31a528776d286187d48900557

Courier Mail link - https://www.couriermail.com.au/coronavirus/coronavirus-qld-covid-alert-as-premier-confirms-community-transmission-case/news-story/44fdd27d1bc828ac16ff69d28735acbd

New cases and information reported in the last 24 hours

Local cases:

• 6 are close contacts of previously identified cases:
  • 5 are linked to cluster 2 (see below)
  • 1 is a close contact of a previous case, however, it is not yet confirmed which cluster this case is associated with
• 2 are under investigation
  • These cases were identified through serology, not PCR tests, therefore they are historic cases.

Overseas cases:

• 2 overseas cases from PNG

Notes:

• As of tomorrow, only health workers who have been vaccinated will be working directly with COVID-positive patients.
• For a recap of yesterday's events, refer to the daily post / megathread

-----

👥 Current clusters

Cases to date

^(* The rollout of COVID-19

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

Every Wed night at Urban Jungle Studios in Newstead, just behind the GasWorks :-) Classes are at 630pm and 745pm. You can find info here at: www.GayHealthBrisbane.com.au/classes

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

New cases

• Queensland has recorded two locally acquired cases of COVID-19.
  • The two cases were not in isolation and were "out and about" in the community whilst infectious.
  • The cases are suspected to be the "alpha" or UK strain.
  • One of the cases was a DFO worker, working at a previous exposure site, but the worker is believed not to have contracted the virus whilst at work.
  • Both "..cases are friends of some of the people who attended that Portuguese restaurant."
  • "So we suspect that's where the linkage has happened. They, themselves, did not attend that function at that restaurant. We're just working through what's happened there."
  • One case is believed to not have been symptomatic during the infectious period.

Queensland Press Conference Statements on Northern Territory cases

• It is understood the worker contracted the disease in hotel quarantine in Brisbane, and Dr Young says he was on the fifth floor of the hotel where "we had that other transmission event".
• Every person on that floor has now been moved to different floors.
• The quarantine period has been extended for those who shared the fifth floor.
• Dr Young states that she believes both the miner and the flight attended are part of the same cluster.

New Restrictions for QLD

• Pubs, clubs and cafés will revert to the one person per two square metres rule.
• Private gatherings at homes will be limited to no more than 100 people, including children and infants.
• The State of Origin scheduled for tonight will go ahead.
• The premier is urging Queenslanders to not travel to New South Wales, and for those currently in New South Wales to return home.
• Dr Young warns of the possibility of hard border restrictions to be implemented with NSW
  • "It's always been a possibility right from the start of this pandemic, which is why the Premier said it is critical that Queenslanders, really, if they're in New South Wales, anywhere in New South Wales today, they think very carefully about what their plan is going forward, because they might be facing a sometime of 14 days' quarantine we when they come back."

https://preview.redd.it/h5m9kxrddp771.png?width=1317&format=png&auto=webp&s=a4a19acdbe6d4d8bb83a9961a2cba23ec40716f8

Recent close contacts

Refer to Queensland Health for Latest Information:

[https://www.qld.gov.au/health/conditions/health-alerts/coronavirus-covid-19/current-status/contact-tracing](https://www.qld.gov.au/health/conditio

New cases and information reported in the last 24 hours

• Local cases:
  • +1 new local case recorded: see notes below.
• Overseas cases:
  • +6 new overseas cases recorded.
• Vaccinations:
  • +4,394 vaccinations reported in the last 24 hours.
• ℹ️ Recent media releases from Queensland Health:
  • 26th March: Positive wastewater detection in Brisbane
  • 20th March: Positive wastewater detection in Logan
  • 20th March: Queensland gives the green light to NZ green flights
  • 19th March: Positive wastewater detection on the Gold Coast
  • 15th March: Positive wastewater detection in Brisbane and Cairns North
  • 13th March: Public Health Alert: PA Hospital

What we know about the local case so far

• The case is a 26-year-old man from Stafford who has been to a number of locations.
• He has been infectious in the community since last Friday.
• From noon today many facilities in Brisbane and the Moreton Bay shire will be locked down to protect vulnerable people.
• "We don't know how we will be getting gene sequencing results later today or early tomorrow that will assist us in working that," Dr Young said.
• "This gentleman developed symptoms on Monday, became reasonably unwell," Dr Young said. "He then stayed home so he had been out and about in a presymptomatic period as you would expect for a young man."
• Dr Young outlined some of the locations that he had been at while infectious.
  • Carindale Shoppping Centre: March 20 at around 11am: "He visited quite a few places through there. That is a high risk area.
  • Baskin Robbins ice cream at Everton Park: At 8:00pm
  • Fresh Food Market stall at Gasworks at Newstead: Sunday March 21 at 9:00am.
  • Palmer's Italian waterfront restaurant at Redcliffe at 12:20p

Close Contacts:

>Hamilton Hotel - Sports bar Hamilton, Tuesday March 23 2.20pm-4.45pm

>Hamilton Hotel - Pokies room Hamilton, Tuesday March 23 4.45pm-5.23pm

Casual Contacts:

>Body Plus Physio Caboolture, Tuesday March 16 08.30am-08.50am

>Silky Oakes Strathpine, Tuesday March 16 12pm-12.05pm

>Price Line Pharmacy Albany Creek, Tuesday March 16 12.30pm-12.40pm

>Grill’d Eatons Hill, Tuesday March 16 1pm-1.30pm

>Tafe Southbank, Wednesday March 17 8am-4.30pm

>Woolworths Everton Park, Wednesday March 17 1.39pm-2.13pm

>World Gym North Lakes, Thursday March 18 9.15am-9.45am

> Basil and Vine Burpengary, Thursday March 18 10am -10.15am

>Electric Chair Barber Shop Everton Park, Thursday March 18 3.15pm-4.14pm

>Lawnton Country Markets Bakery Lawnton, Friday March 19 6.11am-6.26am

>Westfield North Lakes, Friday March 19 11.20am-11.50am

>Newstead Brewing Co. Newstead, Friday March 19 3.54pm-5.29pm

>Reef Seafood & Sushi Brisbane Newstead, Friday March 19 5.37pm-6.35pm

>The Standard Market Company, Gasworks Plaza (76 Skyring Tce) Newstead, Friday March 19 6.35pm-6.45pm

>Public Toilet, Gasworks Plaza (located to the right of the escalator from the car park) Newstead, Friday March 19 6.46pm-6.47pm

>Plus Fitness 24/7 Gym Everton Park, Saturday March 20 7.40am-8.34am

>Coles Everton Park (Everton Plaza Shopping Centre) Everton Park, Saturday March 20 8.39am-8.44am

>Neighbourhood Market Co. Everton Park, Saturday March 20 8.45am-8.55am

>The Bavarian Eagle Street Pier Brisbane City, Saturday March 20 2.15pm-4pm

>Riverland Brisbane Brisbane City, Saturday March 20 4.10pm-6.32pm

>Viscosity Fortitude Valley, Saturday March 20 6.42pm-7.31pm

>XCargo Fortitude Valley, Saturday March 20 7.35pm-9.32pm

>Burrito Bar Everton Park, Sunday March 21 3.24pm-3.33pm

>Westfield (Dimmicks and Woolworths) North Lakes, Tuesday March 23 11am-12pm

>Woolworths Strathpine, Tuesday March 23 4pm-4.30pm

>Tafe Southbank, Wednesday March 24 8am-4.30pm

>Coles Everton Park (Everton Plaza Shopping Centre), Wednesday March 24 3.24pm-3.33pm

>Uroko Sushi on Train Everton Park, Wednesday March 24 7.19pm-7.33pm

>World Gym North Lakes, Thursday March 25 8.45am-9.45am

>Oliver’s Real Food Maryborough West Thursday March 25 11.50am-12.09pm

>Officeworks Rothwell, Thursday March 25 12pm-12.30pm

>Westfield North Lakes, Thursday March 25 2pm-3pm

>World Gym North Lakes, Friday March

March 20:

Westfield Carindale Shopping Centre (including Shinobi Ramen Noodle Shop, Fresh Sensations, Go Vita, Robins Kitchen, Harris Scarfe and Kmart) 12pm-2.16pm

Market Organics, Newmarket 2.45pm-3pm

Baskin Robbins, Everton Park 9.20pm-9.25pm

March 21:

Genki Mart, Alderley 10.30am-10.46am

Mama’s Italian restaurant, Redcliffe 12.30pm-3.10pm

March 22:

Guzman and Gomez (drive-through), Stafford 12.20pm-12.25pm

Bunnings, Stafford 12.40pm-12.50pm

March 25:

Aldi, Stafford 8.30am-8.45am

Nundah Respiratory Clinic, Nundah 11.15am-11.40am

Low risk venues include Gasworks Plaza in Newstead on March 21 between 9.50am and 10.20am, and KFC in Everton Park on March 22 from 7.55pm to 8pm.

Other parts of Westfield Carindale Shopping Centre on March 20 between 12pm and 2.16pm are also considered low risk venues.

“People who attended these venues at the relevant time are asked to monitor their health and immediately get tested if they get any COVID-19 symptoms,” Queensland Health warned.

New cases and information reported in the last 24 hours

• Local cases:
  • +1 new local case recorded: The man, aged in his 20s, is the second confirmed case in the past two days. He was a close contact of a 26-year-old Stafford man who tested positive late Thursday night.
  • See more info below. The Strathpine man hosted a gathering of around 25 people at his home between being instructed to isolate and getting his positive test results. The attendees at the party have been placed in quarantine while the risk is assessed.
• Overseas cases:
  • +5 new overseas cases recorded.
• Vaccinations:
  • +4,546 vaccinations reported in the last 24 hours.
• ℹ️ Recent media releases from Queensland Health:
  • 27th March: Potential exposure sites released following latest case
  • 27th March: Greater Brisbane COVID-19 update
  • 26th March: COVID-19 update: Queensland’s latest locally acquired case, wastewater testing and new testing facilities -
  • 26th March: Positive wastewater detection in Brisbane
  • 20th March: Positive wastewater detection in Logan
  • 20th March: Queensland gives the green light to NZ green flights
  • 19th March: Positive wastewater detection on the Gold Coast
  • 15th March: Positive wastewater detection in Brisbane and Cairns North
  • 13th March: Public Health Alert: PA Hospital

Recap from today's presser

• **One is a close contact of the man who was re

These are only the locations that have been added since 5:15pm yesterday.

The following locations are only the new ones that have been added in the last 24 hours to 6pm AEST (~45 locations). There are now over ~120 contact tracing locations in total. Please visit the official list here to double check all known locations.

https://www.qld.gov.au/health/conditions/health-alerts/coronavirus-covid-19/current-status/contact-tracing

✳️ Close contacts

If you have been to any of the below locations at the relevant times you should:

• quarantine at home immediately for 14 days since attending those venues at those times
• complete the contact tracing self-assessment if you have not already been contacted by Queensland Health. If you are unable to complete the self-assessment call 13 43 25 84
• remain quarantined for 14 days since you were last at the location, even if you get a negative test.

✳️ Casual contacts

If you have been to any of the Casual Contact locations at the relevant times you should:

• get tested immediately, even if you have no symptoms
• quarantine at home immediately until you receive a negative result
• complete the contact tracing self-assessment
• watch for COVID-19 symptoms and get retested if you feel unwell.