A list of puns related to "Never Twice"
Or there'll be repercussions.
it's always a rash decision
I never strike in the same place twice.
One of the funniest school puns; science puns
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, theyโd be alloys.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
If youโre not part of the solution, youโre part of the precipitate.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, โNo, Iโm traveling light.โ
Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because youโre talking nonsense!
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heโs 0K now.
I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says โI think Iโll have an H2O.โ The second one says โI think Iโll have an H2O tooโ โ and he died.
A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.
Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
What element is a girlโs future best friend? Carbon.
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your โstyle.โ
Iโm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I canโt put it down.
I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnโt seem to be gaining momentum.
Why canโt atheists solve exponential equations? Because they donโt believe in higher powers.
Schrodingerโs cat walks into a bar. And doesnโt.
Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.
What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies โFor you, no chargeโ.
Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: โOh, no, I think I lost an electron.โ โAre you sure?โ
โYe
... keep reading on reddit โกA judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case? "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?' "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents." The judge said, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?' "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
At a wedding reception where the chocolates on the table were in nice looking package.
While watching a baseball game:
In regards to meatloaf my mother made:
While eating at relatives' house:
In regards to an inappropriately shaped child's toy:
When my brother and I were screwing around instead of helping in the garage:
After listening to a 3 minute voice mail from my mother:
At the end of the evening, after dinner with my parents and godparents. My Godfather gets up to leave, puts on his jacket and turns to us. Out of the blue he comes out with:
>I'll leave you with this: You can kiss a nun once. You can kiss a nun twice. But you must never get into the Habit.
We laugh, groan, laugh some more. He leaves.
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