Manticore Records Puns

For the past several weeks I've been hard at work, spending every spare minute writing, recording and producing my first ever foray into podcasting, The Lone Adventurer.

Taking inspiration from shows like Tale of the Manticore, The Bad Spot and Me, Myself and Die, I've decided to create an actual play solo RPG podcast. Given that I've never done anything remotely like this before, this has been a huge learning curve, but it's also been a tremendous amount of fun.

I'm using 5e with an ever-growing list of houserules, the Mythic GME and a bunch of other tools. And I'm playing 5e with just one character. I go into how I make that work in my Session Zero.

I have several episodes in the can, and I'm just waiting on the main podcast distribution platforms (Apple and Google mainly) to process my feed and start to serve my content; once they are on board I'll be dropping several episodes at once, and will be sure to let you know.

I hope you'll join me!

https://preview.redd.it/2ybjcem159d81.jpg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0772953baf4f61f9b3f69e8ea1a2e04f88974be

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Hey guys so I'm currently in the semi-final phase of building my RWBY AU. But I wanted your feedback on my established working of Aura and Grimm. Tell me if there's anything that should be further explained or simplified. Or just outright trashed haha, Thanks: )

What are Grimm?

-Destruction and Death incarnate. Monsters of ash and bone that endlessley seek to devour Aura as it they have an appetite for it, while also making them stronger. Grimm only eat humans and faunus.

Where do Grimm come from?

• Grimm are born from the Pools of Destruction, a primordial essence created by the God of Darkness. A measure to keep the balance of life and death in check and harmony.

• Pools of destruction are located sporadically around the world and nearly impossible to find, only one has been found in recorded history.

-Grimm can be found everywhere around Remnant

Types/Classes of Grimm

-There are many Grimm, but not too many where they can't be classified. Grimm have mature(M) and immature(IM) forms as its been observed over time. There are four classes of Grimm specifically classified for their threat level. Physical characterstics typically associated with a Grimm's threat level are the scale of intracite blood-orange markings and sturdy bone-plate armor. The following are:

C Class:

• BeoWolf(Immature), BoarTusk(IM&M), Lancer(Warrior Drone) Ursa Minor, RazorWing(IM&M), Goliath(IM), Griffon(IM&M), Sabyr(IM)

• Able to be subjugated by 1-2 Huntsman-In-Training(HIT) or 1 professional Huntsman

• Threat level can vary on scale of Grimm

B Class:

• Sabyr(M), Teryx(IM&M), NeverMore(IM), Ursa Major, King Taijutu(IM), Ravager, Centinel(IM), Sphinx(IM), Beringel(IM), Manticore(IM), Beo-Wolf(M)

• Require at least 1-3 HIT or 1-2 Professional Huntsmen - Threat level can vary on scale of Grimm

A Class:

• Manticore(M), Sphinx(M), Beringel(M), Nevermore(M), King Taijutu(M), Megoliath(M), Geist, Apathy, Cenitaur(M), DeathStalker(M), Queen Lancer

• Require 3-4 HIT or 2-4 Professional Huntsmen

• It is rare for students to be assigned to subjuagte Class A Grimm, if they are the sqaud is most likely headed by a professional Huntsman

• Class A Grimm have special abilities some already present in their juvenile forms

S Class:

• Tempest, Fei-Long, Umbral Hound, Blind-Worm, Imp, Wyvern
• Require 4-8 HIT or 3-4 Professional Hunstmen
• These Grimm are very dangerous, students are NOT given clearence to hunt them and if they do come across one, they are

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

#A Short History

Originally created as the first anti-pirate allice in Eve Online, Hydra entered the Alliance Tournament scene in AT8 placing 2nd in their first AT. In AT9, Hydra stepped up its game, entered two teams, and finished 1st and 2nd. Such metagaming used to be celebrated, but the way Hydra won was too much in the spirit of Eve and it forced changes that brought in the current anti-collusion rules. It also resulted in a ban the following year from AT10. And so the AT curse began.

 

AT11: Placed 2nd while practicing internally.

AT12: Practiced with Camel, who finished 1st.

AT13: Placed 1st as Warlords, then banned for being too much in the spirit of Eve, again.

AT14: Hydra skipped this.

AT15: Placed 2nd while practicing with VYDRA, who finished 1st.

AT16: Placed 2nd while practicing with VYDRA, who finished 1st.

 

So when CCP asked for a description of our alliance for AT17, we sent them this:

Hello and welcome to hydra RELOADED allice. Are you interested in Mining with HULKS and ORCAS or Fighting With BATTLESHIPS and EXTREMELY CRAZY FRIENDS? Are you looking to join members of an elite allice who will be all too interested in hearing your story and helping you build a new one? Are you ready to experience the pure power of friendship in numbers? Well too bad, it's not 2010 anymore. After the sins of AT9 this cursed alliance has been in 10 years of tournament purgatory. A record of four 2nd place AT finishes, a 1st place AT ban, and watching our practice partners win AT three times. Every year we hope the AT gods will end the suffering; every year they look down, and whisper: "No." Life is suffering, tournament is suffering, tournament is life.

 

#Tournament is Life

In the lead up to AT17 several player-run tournaments were held, including the Alliance Open and the Anger Games. Dexter Xio captained a team under the Warlords of the Deep banner, unfortunately the AT curse is transmissible, and we placed 2nd in both of those events. The results were good enough to grant us a direct invite to AT17 for any team Dex captained.

 

During the AO and AG, the leadership for Warlords was just Dexter and myself (Orontes Ovasi). The return of the once dead AT created a huge amount of excitement in Goryn Clade, and brought many Hydra veterans back. Kadesh was unbanned, Duncan, Haart and others came back, and in our excitement, we had around 35 people in a tournament discord before realizing that it was

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Shipping should work out to around 6$ for most USA locations, flat rate to Canada (around 8$)

Condition is Record/ Jacket, EX=excellent (a touch under near mint, maybe a few light creases/hairlines, plays flawlessly) Happy to answer any inquiries or send pictures, just send me a message.

Sealed

Brian Setzer ‎– Setzer Goes Instru-Mental! (2021, Splatter on 180g, Surfdog Records SD2332911) Sealed: 30$

Bryan Ferry ‎– These Foolish Things (2021 Europe, 180g Remaster, Virgin Records BFLP1) Sealed, top corner bent: 32$

The Glitch Mob ‎– Drink The Sea (2020 USA, 2x LP Limited to 750 on ***Purple/Silver Marble Vinyl***, Glass Air Records GA-001I) Opened to confirm color variant: 40$

King Tubby ‎– King At The Control (2017 USA, Tad's Record) Sealed: 27$

Marillion ‎– Misplaced Childhood (2017 Europe Remastered, Parlophone 0190295825515) Sealed: 30$

Paul Young – Between Two Fires (1986, Columbia FC 40543) Sealed with original hype sticker, light corner & ringwear: 10$

Prog

The Alan Parsons Project – Pyramid (1978, Arista AB 4180) VG/VG: 10$

The Alan Parsons Project ‎– Tales Of Mystery And Imagination (Casablanca MIP-1-9463) VG+/VG+: 10$

The Alan Parsons Project ‎– The Turn Of A Friendly Card (1980, Arista AL 9518) VG+/VG+: 8$

Curved Air ‎– Air Cut (1973, Gatefold, Warner Bros. Records WS 4507) VG/G: 5$

Electric Light Orchestra ‎– Olé ELO (1981, Reissue Compilation, Jet Records WPZ 35465) VG+/VG+: 5$

Genesis ‎– Live (1975 USA, Charisma CAS 1666) NM/G+: 12$

Genesis – Seconds Out (1977, 2x LP, Atlantic 2SD 9002) EX/VG: 15$

Genesis – Three Sides Live (1982, 2x LP, Atlantic SD2-2000) NM/VG+: 15$

Genesis ‎– Spot The Pigeon (1977, Limited Edition Blue Vinyl, EP 45 RPM, Atlantic EP 1800) VG+/G+: 12$

Kayak ‎– Phantom Of The Night (1978, GRT 9098-7039) EX/VG+: 8$

Lighthouse ‎– Thoughts Of Movin' On (1971, Gatefold, GRT 9230-1010) VG+/VG+: 8$

P.F.M. ‎– Cook (1975, Manticore MA-502V1) VG/VG: 6$

Pink Floyd ‎– The Final Cut (1983, Gatefold, Columbia QC 38243) Insert included NM/VG+: 25$

Pink Floyd ‎– Relics (unknown Year Germany, Emidisc 048 CRY 50 740) EX/VG: 25$

Stomu Yamashta/ Steve Winwood/ Michael Shrieve ‎– Go (1976, Island Records ILPS 9387) EX/VG+: 15$

Styx ‎– Equinox (1975 USA, A&M Records SP-4559) VG+/VG: 12$

Supertramp ‎– "...Famous Last Words..." (1982, A&M Records SP-3732) EX/VG+: 8$

Yes ‎– Yes (Band portrait co

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!