Long ago (nearly 3 years ago) I had a discussion with someone on r/ahmadiyya who raised two questions and I would like to revisit and elucidate on some of those points

1. Is Lahori Ahmadiyya the 74th sect? Since you guys claim to be the one saved jam'aah, wouldn't lahoris disprove the hadith?

Response:

Furthermore, their own Muslim scholars have explained that 73 does not mean the exact number “73”. Arabic linguists have mentioned that if the number seven appears as a unit or in tens, then it refers to “many” or “multitudes”. A prominent translator and commentator, Muhammad Yaseen Qasuri Naqshbandi, in his commentary of Jami‘ al-Tirmidhi, under the explanation of the above narration writes (in Urdu):

بہتر‭ ‬اور‭ ‬تہتر‭ ‬كے‭ ‬اعداد‭ ‬تكثير‭ ‬كے‭ ‬لئے‭ ‬استعمال‭ ‬كئے‭ ‬جاتے‭ ‬ہيں۔ عربی ‬زبان‭ ‬ميں‭ ‬سات‭ ‬كا‭ ‬عدد‭ ‬تهوڑی ‬تكثير‭ ‬كے‭ ‬لئے، ستر‭ ‬كا‭ ‬عدد‭ ‬درميانی ‬تكثير‭ ‬كے‭ ‬لئے‭ ‬اور‭ ‬تہتر‭ ‬كا‭ ‬عدد‭ ‬زياده‭ ‬تكثير‭ ‬كے‭ ‬لئے‭ ‬استعمال‭ ‬كيا‭ ‬جاتا‭ ‬هے‬‬۔

“The numbers 72 and 73 indicate excess. In Arabic, the number 7 is used for slight excess and the number 70 is used for moderate excess whereas the number 73 is used to indicate extreme excess*.*”(Anwar-e-Nabwi, Book of Faith)

For more info on 73 sects read here: https://www.alhakam.org/the-73rd-heavenly-sect-response-to-allegations-part-i/ However I want to elucidate on the lahori aspect of this

The Lahore Ahmadiyya Movement does not consider itself a sect. It considers itself a movement. Deobandi and Barelwi both started out as movements. Even today they say don't call us firqah, say maslak. But even if we say Lahori is a firqah that doesn't affect the overall argument.

The other point is the Lahore Ahmadis have accepted Musleh maud in two senses. The first sense was that they were willing to accept him only if the Khalifa was very weak in power only for namaze and janaze but a khalifa is more than that. The second thing was that they claimed the anjuman was the successor of Hadrat Masih Maud(as), well if that is the case Noorideen(rh) was the President and he resigned during his khilafat and appointed Musleh Maud(as). Musleh Maud was president of the Anjuman for full four years.

2. Claim of Family Khilafat. You say Noorideen(rh) was the first caliph but the only reason he was the caliph was because Musleh Maud(as) was too young to be caliph so Noorideen(rh) became caliph.

Actually Musleh Maud was no

I have noticed there are a decent amount of Non-Ahmadi Muslims(Sunni/Shias) on this forum than I was expecting so I wanted to ask specifically the non-Ahmadi Muslims that converted from Ahmadi Islam. Pardon my naiveness, but I do not understand how someone can convert to Sunnism or Shism from Ahmadiyya Islam.

Also, DM me or add me on discord if you guys need more refs like these.

How do you reconcile with beliefs like:

1- Apostates must be killed.

All 4 schools of fiqh in Sunni Islam and the majority of Shias say it. How can you accept such an un-Islamic belief?

2- Blasphemers of Islam, Quran, Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) must be killed.

No explanation is needed. You can see how this will be misused. And un-Islamic again, as it is against Quran and Sunnah.

3- Jesus (A.S) will kill people for not converting to Islam in his 2nd coming. Either accept Islam or the sword.

Very common Sunni belief as mentioned by big shot classical scholars like Ibn Kathir, Imam Nawawi, and every Sunni scholar of today accepts it. Not sure about Shias.

• Ibn Kathir ref: Tafseer Ibn Kathir, verse 4:158-159 in arabic
  • Another of his ref:

>'Eesa ibn Maryam will descend there and then kill the pig, break the cross, and refuse to accept their Jizyah. But whosoever accepts Islam from them, it will be accepted from him; otherwise, he will be killed. The same ruling applies to all the disbelievers of that time."[Boof of the end. Great Trial and Tribulations, pg 151] (link)

• Imam Nawawi ref: "Rather he will not accept anything but Islam or death." (ref)
• Ahmad Ibn Naqib Al Misri (d. 769/1367): "... nothing but Islam will be accepted..." (ref)
• Multiple Sunni scholars repeating the above statement: https://youtu.be/6bBtr_V1vhI?t=94

4- Fairy tales

Jesus (A.S) flew to the sky/heaven.

• Alive since 2000 years without food/water.
• Watches over every single person like a God.
• Will fly down on a minaret from heaven/sky, holding onto 2 angels.
• Will kill literally kill ALL or SOME pigs and breaking crosses around the world.
• Gog/Magog are some kind of humanoids who will wreak havoc around the world. Drink Seas and oceans and eat crops

I really wish for the current rework-in-progress implemented which i like, and I am a little pissed at the criticism it received which caused it to be frozen, but as it is currently frozen and people are still giving their own ideas, here is my idea, which is a Muslim-ruled North India

My idea is that while the British face a Communist revolution in the 1920s, the Muslims officers who are affiliated with the anti-colonial Khilafat Movement in the British Indian army(which was composed 40% of Punjabi Muslims) take advantage of the vacuum of British authority and organize a violent coup d'etat in Dehli, not only expelling the British from the north but also establishing Islam as the official religion of the state and an emir as commander-in-chief while also using the INC as a strategic ally against the British, with a secondary role in the government. While the Muslims do not form the majority of the army, the Muslim Punjabis form the largest singular cohesive group in the army based on both ethnic and religious considerations, whereas the non-muslims part of the army may be divided between ethnic lines, or religious lines between hindus and sikhs.

The British retain control over peninsular/south india due to easier naval access. In order for the state to be viable, the state does not attempt to gain power over certain majority-Hindu regions like rajasthan, central india and gujarat, which gain independence under the leadership of a confederacy of Hindu Rajput princes, while the new delhi/lahore state capitalizes on connecting strategic muslim-heavy regions as the Punjab, Bengal, and old Delhi. In this case, going by modern demographics, such a state (comprising of east and west Punjab, United Provinces of Agra and Oudh, Sindh, east/west Bengal, Bihar, Kashmir, NWFP) would be at least 45-50% Muslim.

so there would be three sides just like current Kaiserreich lore, where each side wants complete domination of the subcontinent, but with some geographic basis (unlike the bharatiya commune, princely federation and brit raj for which frankly the geography makes little sense), and it would have even less balance of power than the current rework-in-progress. The motive of the Hindu Rajputs is to fulfill their duty and free Hindus from Muslim rule, the motive of the in-effect Dehli Sultanate is to spread Islamic rule, and the motive of the British is to retain their existing territory for its manpower in foreign conflicts, or exploit divides between the native po

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

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#About Post:

#Post Body:

I have noticed there are a decent amount of Non-Ahmadi Muslims(Sunni/Shias) on this forum than I was expecting so I wanted to ask specifically the non-Ahmadi Muslims that converted from Ahmadi Islam. Pardon my naiveness, but I do not understand how someone can convert to Sunnism or Shism from Ahmadiyya Islam.

Also, DM me or add me on discord if you guys need more refs like these.

How do you reconcile with beliefs like:

1- Apostates must be killed.

All 4 schools of fiqh in Sunni Islam and the majority of Shias say it. How can you accept such an un-Islamic belief?

2- Blasphemers of Islam, Quran, Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) must be killed.

No explanation is needed. You can see how this will be misused. And un-Islamic again, as it is against Quran and Sunnah.

3- Jesus (A.S) will kill people for not converting to Islam in his 2nd coming. Either accept Islam or the sword.

Very common Sunni belief as mentioned by big shot classical scholars like Ibn Kathir, Imam Nawawi, and every Sunni scholar of today accepts it. Not sure about Shias.

• Ibn Kathir ref: Tafseer Ibn Kathir, verse 4:158-159 in arabic
  • Another of his ref:

>'Eesa ibn Maryam will descend there and then kill the pig, break the cross, and refuse to accept their Jizyah. But whosoever accepts Islam from them, it will be accepted from him; otherwise, he will be killed. The same ruling applies to all the disbelievers of that time."[Boof of the end. Great Trial and Tribulations, pg 151] (link)

• Imam Nawawi ref: "Rather he will not accept anything but Islam or death." (ref)
• Ahmad Ibn Naqib Al Misri (d. 769/1367): "...