Kem Cetinay Puns

Guy is like 5' 6 ish, was recently on a UK TV show called Love Island and won it. By far the best person there, funny, charismatic and immensely popular with the girls there. Don't know how to add a picture to the post but a quick Google will sort you out if you don't know who I'm talking about.

LIVE SCORE: ENGLAND XI 0-0 WORLD XI

Date: 06/09/2020 19:30(ish) BST

Competition: Soccer Aid

Venue: Old Trafford

Please do not post links to streams in the comments

England XI squad:

Celebrities

• Olly Murs (captain)
• Joe Wicks
• Joel Dommett
• Marvin Humes
• Danny Jones
• Mark Wright
• Lee Mack
• Tom Davis
• James Bay
• John Bishop
• Alfie Allen
• Yung Filly
• Chunkz
• Paddy McGuinness

Legends

• David James
• Wes Brown
• Ashley Cole
• Katie Chapman
• Joe Cole
• Gareth Barry
• Kelly Smith
• Andy Cole
• Emile Heskey

World XI squad:

Phil

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

Because a toothbrush works better

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

Had to ground him until he could conduct himself properly.

Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.

..... Will get a reward.

Because they work on many levels

The Bushes

Well, toucan play at that game.

I want to talk about my father and the wonderful influence he has had on my life,' he told the audience. 'He is a shining example of parenthood, and I love him more than words could ever do justice.'

At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, 'Sorry, but it's really hard to read my father’s handwriting.'

England v Soccer Aid XI (Kick-off 7.30pm). Dermot O'Leary and Kirsty Gallacher introduce the annual celebrity charity football match, which comes from Stamford Bridge.

#England XI 2 - 2 World XI

Lynch (17’, 38’) Bolt (44’) Cetinay (84’)

#WORLD XI WIN ON PENALTIES 3-1

Donate here: https://www.socceraid.org.uk

#England XI Soccer Aid squad

#England XI managers

Susanna Reid - GMB presenter

Sam ‘The Gravy Man’ Allardyce - Football manager

#Team

Mo Farah (C) - Olympian

Mark Wright - TOWIE star

Robbie Williams - Singer

Ben Shephard - TV presenter

Joe Wicks - Fitness coach

Jeremy Lynch - Freestyle footballer

Marvin Humes - JLS star turned TV presenter

Danny Jones - McFly singer

#Soccer Aid professionals

John Terry - Former Chelsea and England captain

Jamie Redknapp - Former Liverpool and England midfielder

David Seaman - Former Arsenal and England goalkeeper

Michael Owen - Former Liverpool and England striker

Jamie Carragher - Former Liverpool and England defender

Rachel Yankey - Former Arsenal and England winger

Glen Johnson - Former Chelsea and England defender

Joe Cole - Former Chelsea and England midfielder

Katie Chapman - Former Arsenal and England midfielder

#World XI team

#World XI managers

Piers ^^proper ^^cunt Morgan - GMB presenter

Harry Redknapp - Football manager/King of the Jungle

#Soccer Aid celebrities

Usain Bolt (C) - Former sprinter

Danny O’Carroll - Mrs Brown's Boys actor

Kem Cetinay - Love Island star

Jack Savoretti - Singer

DJ Locksmith - Rudimental star

Billy Wingrove - Freestyle footballer

Nicky Byrne - Westlife singer

Roman Kemp - Capital FM presenter

#Soccer Aid professionals

Didier Drogba - Former Chelsea and Ivory Coast striker

Rosana Dos Santos Augusto - Former Brazil footballer

Francielle ‘Franzinha’ Manelo - Former Brazil footballer

Roberto Carlos - Former Real Madrid and Brazil defender

Eric Cantona - Former Man Utd and France striker

Robert Pires - Former Arsenal and France midfielder

Ricardo Carvalho - Former Chelsea and Portugal defender

Robbie Keane - Former Tottenham and Republic of Ireland striker

Michael Essien - Former Chelsea and Ghana midfielder

Martin Compston - Line of Duty actor

Niall Horan - One Direction singer

Match u

Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table

..and as big as the last two put together.

Argon does not react.

Windows