Hi there,
I saw this wire on a roof of a house around Bad Segeberg (Schlesswig-Holstein):
https://preview.redd.it/w75bsvjkw4x71.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2db191507be75502e892f9345427bf2bbd958d0a
I wonder what it is. Could it be thunder protection?
Thank you in advance and moin moin!! :)
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
Counting the amount of coronavirus cases in Germany
The German news reporting has been rather chaotic for the past few days. A lot of news websites are missing some of the cases and don't report the actual numbers while others are using different methods of counting. So actually counting the cases has become very difficult. That's why I decided to count all the cases so far in Germany today and to provide sources for them.
Old cases
First of all, I'll start with the 16 cases that happened a few weeks back. There were 14 cases in Bavaria and 2 cases who returned from Wuhan and were in Germersheim in Rhineland-Palatine. source
NRW
As of today, there are 71 cases in NRW Germany, 60 cases in the Heinsberg district, 3 in the city district of Aachen, 2 in Cologne, 2 in Duisburg, 1 in Bonn, 1 in Mönchengladbach, 1 in Lüdenscheid (Märkischer district) and 1 in the district Wesel. The cases from Heinsberg district apparently include a doctor that is working in Mönchengladbach, a management consultant working in Düsseldorf and a staff member of an insurance company working in Bergheim.
The source and translation of the news ticker is below.
"9:45 am: One staff member of an open school care of an elementary school in Bonn is infected with coronavirus. This was announced by the city of Bonn on Saturday morning. The man apparently got infected at carnival in Heinsberg district - same as most of the coronavirus cases so far. (...) The elementary school will stay closed for now."
"11:23 am: The city district of Aachen announced three more confirmed cases of coronavirus infection: This includes a woman from Gangelt (Heinsberg district), who is currently hospitalized in Aachen for other reasons. One woman and her son from Würselen were also tested positive for the coronavirus. They're both fine and don't need to be hospitalized."
"11:47 am: The authorities from the district Wesel also report an infection: A man from Kamp-Lintfort was tested positive."
"12:13 pm: After a teacher from Lüdenscheid was tested positive for coronavirus yesterday, the health department of the district has found all 31 persons who were in contact with him. (...)"
Lüdenscheid is part of the Märkischer district.
"1:35 pm: The amount of infected people in notably by the coronavirus affected district Heinsberg has grown further: Overall, there are now around 60 people infected, including 4 c
... keep reading on reddit ➡
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
