I'm pretty good at history but I recently read about a Nazi war criminal who I'd never heard of before.
His name didn't ring any Gö- bells.
Never thought of it like that haha
Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Everytime I have a pessimistic thought I put a dollar in it.
I just thought of a great joke about second guessing
I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
Before I went to the Star Wars cosplay, I thought everyone was one-dimensional. Then I met a pair of gorgeous woman dressed as astromech droids.
I thought I could make a decent living taking photos of the jousting spears that the Renaissance Fair was handing out
Turns out being a free lance photographer isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
My friend thought having his boat pulled to a lagoon would be free of charge. But, no...
Thought of this while I was teaching my little brother about the wonderful world of colors
The very thought of using fake grass to cover the dirt in my yard
Thought up this one all on my own and I'm proud of it: Did you hear the joke about the leg?
In my opinion, it wasn't very fu-knee.
Never thought cannibalism is so yummy(Another one of the ones that I want to cross post but r/puns bans cross posts)
Did you know that Olive branch is a symbol of peace. People were using olive branch during the history to declare truce by giving it to their enemies
If you are wondering how I know this, it's because olive random trivia
Thought of this well bringing in groceries.
I was asked to compare English to French.
Well, that's just like comparing grapes to raisins
I just watched a documentary on the history of the WD-40.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
I thought I heard news of a country making money out of soft pear-shaped fruits with sweet dark flesh and many small seeds...
But I guess it was a fig mint of my imagination.
I've recently started writing an Ebook about the history of citrus fruits.
It's nowhere near finished, but the first chapter's on lime.
Thought of this while on the shitter, my only kid is a 4 yr old cat
"What was Joe doing before the election results?"
"Biden time"
Just thought of this
What's a ghost's favorite food?
A boorrito
I had nothing to do so I thought of personally mixing the small leaves of a low-growing aromatic plant of the mint family.
But I knew I’d end up with too much Thyme on my hands
Today I read a pamphlet on the history of incandescent bulbs...
I’m reading a book on the history of glue....
I can’t seem to put it down.
First one I thought of myself
"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself and shared it with us during Christmas dinner!
He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Honolulu...
I thought I had found the best optometrist southwest of Alaska...
But it turned out it was an optical Aleutian.
I was tasked to come up with a great pun for a new launch of Microsoft Office, I thought I’d come up with a great one.
But my publisher told me that word games are not what I excel at.
I just thought of a name for a Christian ninja.
I swear I just thought of it, and I'm surprised I've never heard it before. Ready? Wait for iiiiiiiiiit...
John Claude Van Dang.
I thought about being a comedian instead of a mailman, but it didn't work out
My delivery was terrible.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
I thought out of all these puns that at least one out of ten would make me laugh..
So yall know how people used wooden dentures in the 19th century? I wonder if women ever tried or thought of using the same idea to increase boob size.
That would be something, now wooden tit?
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI ‘s head.
I never thought The Bumper Book of Farming would be such a difficult bedtime read.
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
Thought of this while on drugs.
Things you say at a celebrity brothel and at a custom tailors. " yeah, how much is Chris Hemsworth? "
One day, as I was walking home, someone threw a block of cheese at my head. I thought-
“That’s not very mature!”
I am reading a book on the history of lubricants.
Thought y’all might enjoy these illustrated puns I found on the back of my English lit class notes from high school 🙃
I just thought of a pickup line.
It goes, "BEEP BEEP VROOM VROOM HONK HONK BEEP HONK!"
I was reading through London history and thought it was interesting to learn what happened to King Charles the First’s head.
I thought of a carpentry joke.
I just wasn’t sure if it woodwork.
Have I not yet told you my summary about the history of clocks?
A painter wanted to get life insurance but was told he was uninsurable...
Due to his history of multiple strokes.
I lost my train of thought
I’ve just started my new book: ‘the history of glue’
My friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes. Now we call him Dr Awkward.
"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself!
He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska...
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