His Best Friend Puns

I was speechless.

The man was saddened deeply at the loss. It felt only natural that he bury the animal properly. He went to a nearby church. He found the priest and said, "Sir, can you help me? I would like to give my dog a proper burial."

The priest was bothered by the notion of burying the dog in the cemetery. He replied, " I am sorry for your loss sir, but we can't accept your pet into our burial grounds."

The man's heart sank, but he wasn't about to give up. He asked the priest, "Is their anywhere I can take him?"

The priest thought carefully and said, "You can try one of the protestant churches on the other side of town."

A gleam of hope came over the man's face. "Thank you Father, I will do just that. I do have one final question. Being a man of the cloth do you think a $10,000 donation would be appropriate for whomever will let me bury my pet?

The priest then burst out, " I am so sorry sir you can most certainly bury your pet here! You didn't mention that your dog was Catholic!"

He said it helps and leaves them all in stitches.

The man stands up and speaks "Plethora." and steps back down.

"Thank you..." says the Widow, "that really means a lot."

EDIT The responses here are incredible! 👌

He just can't seem to part with it.

They're both cauldron.

His bone ami.

A homiecide

Han sanitizer

"I really missed him."

He’s my buddy double.

Seems like their relationship isn't gonna workout

I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

It was his plover from another mother.

So his son plays baseball and his mitt was in rough condition. They make these little boxes for baseball mitts that put out heat, humidity, and massage the mitt slightly to keep it in good condition. They're pretty small and can fit on a kitchen counter top. It's best to keep them near the sink to refill the water reservoir when it gets low. It's helpful if it's like right above the sink. My friend had put his on the bar behind the sink.

It was seriously the nicest bar mitt spa I had ever seen!

Sure, Bert

Brobi-wan Kenobi

I replied “Sounds like a u problem”

So I said does this mean we're best friends for wife?

Cause they're both cauld ron

and he showed me an old photograph of a family friend.

Me: "You weren't kidding about him being in the picture for a long time."

Him:"Yep, ever since they took it."

Yep, that's my arm-Pete.

Arty, a professional hit man, will only let his friend pay him a dollar for the job. Professional courtesy. Arty strangles the wife, but both the maid and butler hear the commotion and come barging into the room. Arty has to take care of them as well, but by the time he's done, the cops have arrived and he is arrested.

The news reports the next morning:

"Arty Chokes 3 for a Dollar."

I was speechless.

They are both cauldron.

I was speechless.

They're both cauldron.

I was speechless.

They're both cauldron.

They’re both cauldron.

I was speechless.

I was speechless.

I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

They're both Cauldron.