My landlord yelled at me today because my heating bill is absolutely insanely high and that he’s going to have to come over soon to discuss a solution.
I told him “Fine, my door is always open.”
Why did the town of Font, USA have such a high rate of crime?
Because it was sans sheriff.
I have a Latino friend with high anxiety, he has to press a switch to relax him
What happens if someone slaps you at a high frequency?
Prices are so high now I bought a bottle of Head and Shoulders
It cost me an arm and a leg
Just got hired on at a high end restaurant, my main job so far has been oyster preparation
And I've gotta say, it really shucks
A prosthetic company made really good products. but charged absurdly high prices for them.
Might as well have been charging people an arm and a leg.
I had a teacher in high school, Ms Turtle.
An ovtupus went to a high end japanese restaurant for dinner.
It cost an arm and a leg.
I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows a little high when she did her makeup today.
Did you know that bees have a high alcohol tolerance?
They just get a little buzzed
The lady who lives across the street from me is the head of an elementary school. The man who lives next door to me is the head of a high school
These are the principals I live by
What will happen if you slap someone on a high frequency?
I put up a high voltage electric fence around my property yesterday.
My neighbour is dead against it.
Civics didn't make a lot of sense when I was in high school.
Corollas were a much better choice.
What did the olive say to the other olive after it fell off a really high table?
I was at a high-end burger joint where you even got to choose the type of bun you wanted. I was going to get the kaiser, but changed my mind at the last minute and went with the brioche.
It was quite the roll reversal.
How can you jump high up on a water bed?
Fill it with spring water
I bought a radio for $5. The volume knob was stuck on high, but I thought to myself
I just can't turn that down.
I met a high school classmate at the airport
He was caught groping a guy on the subway and almost got expelled from school back then. I can't believe right now he works as a TSA agent.
How do you know a rooster that lays eggs lives high in the mountains?
I realized traveling around Alaska there were a high number of inside jokes.
Evidently, if you know, Juneau.
Why Couldn't 6 Get A High 5 From 3?
When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text.
I want to talk about my father and the wonderful influence he has had on my life,' he told the audience. 'He is a shining example of parenthood, and I love him more than words could ever do justice.'
At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, 'Sorry, but it's really hard to read my father’s handwriting.'
a comedian entered a high school party and left disappointed
Well that was because he couldn't find the punch line
Dolphins get high passing around a pufferfish... what kind of drug would u call that?
I can jump as high as a house
Not to brag, but we did a lot of experiments with drugs and alcohol when I was in high school.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
I played a high stakes game today
I knew a guy who said he didn't marry his high school sweetheart until after he finished college.
I asked him, "How come?"
He said, "Well, duh. I was working on my bachelor's degree."
Why is there such a high risk of fire at events like Wimbledon and the US Open?
There are just so many matches.
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
What happens if someone slaps you at a high frequency?
what happens if someone slaps you at a high frequency?
What happens if someone slaps you at a high frequency?
Told my wife she had drawn her eyebrows a little high.
What happens when you’re slapped at a high frequency?
What Happens if you slap someone at a high frequency?
I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my house.
My neighbour is dead against it.
What happens if someone slaps you in a high frequency?
What happens if someone slaps you at a high frequency?
What happens if someone slaps you at a high frequency?
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