Vic Fangio - Vic. Vic, Vic, Vic, where the fuck do I start with you. First of all, you're not a head coach. No doubt about that. But seriously, HOW IN THE GODDAMN DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO MANAGE A GAME CLOCK?! To you, managing a play clock is like advanced calculus. Like seriously. Did you go to school? Do you not know TIME?! OH MY GOD! And let's not forget about his so-called "defensive mind". Sure, the defense ain't bad, but JFC, his play-calling is more than just questionable, it's fucking ATROCIOUS. Putting linebackers in coverage? Really? What the fuck is a cornerback? What is a safety? I'm probably gonna lose my shit if I talk about him more, so I'll leave it that. We have had enough. Get this fuckwit out of this team. And take that fucker McMahon with you. More on that later.
Pat Shurmur - PAT. YOU DESERVE NO RIGHT TO BE AN OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR AT THE NFL LEVEL. NOT EVEN AT COLLEGE OR HIGH SCHOOL. YOU DESERVE NOTHING. YOU SUCK. GOOD DAY SIR.
Tom McMahon - No other special teams coach has made me more furious than Tommy Boy. How does that guy still have a job? If he can be a special teams coach, then I can be the world's greatest superhero. Our special teams is, how do I put this in the nicest way possible, um, THE WORST I HAVE EVER SEEN.
This team is a QB, an offensive line, an HC, an OC, and an STC away from beating the Fuckbeards and those goddamn Leefs. But honestly, I want this team to fail. We Broncos fans CANNOT accept mediocrity. We are fed up, George. I get this is your first year of being a GM, but you need to grow a pair of balls and step up. Please. For DT. For our sanity.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go drown myself in tears.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
