A list of puns related to "E Z Rollers"
A roller bear!
A roller coaster
2:30 AM: A woman accused of robbing a large bank in San Francisco
6:00 PM: A man accused of scamming high rollers in Las Vegas
9:00 PM: A man accused of shooting two rival gang members in Los Angeles
The last one: Keep him away from the Crip tonight
Our son put a carrot down the pipes
.. I’m sorry, total eye roller I know, just a moment of my day today and didn’t know who else would appreciate this gem
The stock itself will give you enough of a roller coaster ride.
...my mind raced with punchlines of the “about this far” variety. I tried a few on for size.
Then I realized he was looking distraught and realized I was potentially stomping on his blooming dad-joke career. So I stopped and said: “I don’t know son, how far?”
He still looked confused, and then I realized that he for real thought a “stud” was a measure of distance and this was a legit question. So I had to transition into google searching images of wall framing and what studs are. What a roller coaster of dad emotions.
I answer, "A photo of a man who was ran over by cement roller. Someone may find this funny, but in my opinion, such jokes are kinda flat."
She actually laughed.
What is a roller coaster operaters favorite color? Clear
The eye roller suite.
he later leaves the bar, because he realizes that his alcohol dependence is driving a wedge between him and his family. After a while he returns to the bar, because he was so drunk that he forgot his wallet their. He then drives home, crashes into his own front lawn, knocks on the door, to find his wife standing their with a bread roller in hand. She asks him, "are you drunk you swine?!" he replies, "no ma'am, I just forgot my wallet at the bar, so I had to swing back and get it....because I was their getting drunk, I'm sorry for lying to you officer..." his wife then leaves him and goes to the same bar to get drunk.... his entire family consists of alcoholics...
It was an emotional roller coaster
A steam roller
When they arrived, a cab driver greeted them at the airport. "What should we do on our first day here," the father asked his son, excitedly. The driver interjected, "Well, if you're not natives, I'd suggest the roller coaster that teaches your or language." Confused, the father and son look at one another then back at their guide. "Trust me," he told them, "It's guaranteed or your money back." Having no plans and now both understandably intrigued, the pair agreed. When they arrived at the roller coaster, they were amazed to behold the giant steel skeleton of the most intricate ride they'd ever seen. It had loops, helixes, corkscrews and drops more terrifying than anything they'd ridden back home. The son quickly rescinded his consent and turned you guys father. "There's no way I'm getting on that thing. You go first," he said, "Then you can tell me if it's worth it." Not wanting to seem a coward, the father accepted. Stepping into the first car, he seated himself. As the attendant approached to check his shoulder restraint, her couldn't help but ask, "So how exactly am I supposed to learn an entire language from a roller coaster?" The attendant smiled and replied simply, "You'll see." Anticipation turned to unease as the cars lurched upward towards the first drop. The seconds felt like hours as the car climbed higher and higher, clicking steadily while the chain pulled it skyward. As the nose of the car tipped downward and he could see the enormous drop below, his inner fear turned verbal. Without thinking he screamed, "minä kuolen!" As he rounded the first turn and into an inverted twist, he debut another exclamation well inside and burst forth. "naida!" He screamed as the ride continued. A few minutes and many foreign-tongued exclamations later, he found himself back at the station trying to catch his breath with the smiling attendant removing his restraints. His ran up to his son and declared, "It really works! I'm not sure how, but it really works!" "How was it?" the son asked unimpressed. "It was a wild ride from start to Finnish." "The son smiled weakly. "Yeah , the cabbie stole our luggage."
http://madeofmistake.com/roller-coaster
After a date night, I walked her to a car. It was late, so she tole me to go upstairs and put on my pajamas.
Her - "well, you don't wear pajamas. I guess your boxers"
Me - "right. I don't sleep in the nude. That'd be a little weird"
Her - "There are weirder things to sleep in"
Me - "Yeah, like a suit of armor"
Her - "That would be weird"
Me - "At least I'd get a good knight's sleep!"
She roller her eyes and told me to go to bed.
Edit - I clearly can't type. I'm leaving the 'roller' mistake though.
I am working on a set of signs for a roller derby bout. the team theme is russian army and I am trying to make propaganda like signs for each of the big russian leaders from the past.
I have:
Quit Stalin, Bring on the Derby
Putin on the Hits
Looking for some for:
-Vladimir Lenin
-Leonid Brezhnev
-Nikita Khrushchev
-Mikhail Gorbachev
Anyone got anything?
What is a Vampire favorite fruit?
What kind of dogs do Vampires like best?
How does a ghost cry?
What does a skeleton always say before he eats?
What kind of key should you always take to a haunted house?
Why do Vampires need mouthwash?
What kinds of street do Zombies like?
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
What did the black cat call the mouse on roller skates?
What does a vampire never at a restaurant?
What is it like to be kissed by a vampire?
Why did the witch stand in front of the podium?
What does a ghosts have for dessert?
What is a skeletons favorite instrument?
What kind of dog does a mad scientist have?
Be honest, how many did you get? What is your dad score?
EDIT: can't get spoiler tags to work...
I have very recently started training with a Men's Roller Derby team. A lot of the guys are refs in the local Women's Roller Derby league and this evening I was helping them get the track ready for the weekend.
Three of us were busy duct-taping a rope around the edge of the track when some guy came up to me and said "It look's like they've roped you in."
Whenever someone complains about bills... "You know, life is like a roller coaster... ...it's expensive."
Always told whenever there's a family get together / dinner / speech.
Q: "What did the grape say when it got run over by a steam roller?"
A: "Nothing, it just let out a little whine."
Dad: do you know why is the roller coaster made out of wood? Me: why Dad: the big bad wolf blew down the straw one
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