A man bursts into his therapist's office and yells, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep dreaming that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards!"
The therapist looks up from his paperwork, looks at the man, and says, "I'm busy at the moment, so I'll deal with you later."
Last night I had a dream I was making love to a muffler.
When I woke up I was so exhausted.
I had a dream where I was chased by a massive pair of shoes.
Catching up to me was no small feet.
An old man owned a dolphin and some children asked him why. The old man smiled and said, "When I was younger, my dreams were crushed, so I bought the dolphin because..."
"Buying him gave me a porpoise in life."
I had a dream that I invented a new color
But when I woke up I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
Last night I had a dream that I ate a 50 lb marshmallow.
This morning I woke up and my pillow was gone.
Today is the 13th anniversary of my father passing and this was my favorite joke that he used to tell. Enjoy.
A shitty pun that came to me in a dream.
If “a dream is a wish the heart makes...”
Does that make a fart a nightmare of the stomach?
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper
What do you call a horse that causes you to have bad dreams?
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
In a dream I was being chased by a trillion male cows...
I dreamed I met a long snake-like fish who had been knighted by the queen.
I told my doctor I keep dreaming I've turned into a wigwam or a teepee.
He said, "You're too tense".
I knew a man who worked in restaurants his entire life. On his death bed, he told me he regretted that he never left to follow his dreams..
It was never the right time, so he spent his whole life waiting.
A man decides to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a horse, and goes to a local breeder
Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.
"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."
"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."
The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."
A wet dream is actually a dream cum true
I had a terrible dream where I was being chased by a female horse after sunset.
A man who loved to catch butterflies married the woman of his dreams:
Had a dream yesterday. It was year 2021, There was a new pandemic of stomach flu...
We all had to wear diapers and we quickly recognised that masks in 2020 were not that bad.
I dreamed of becoming a professional fisherman
But I found out that I couldn't live on my net income
I had a dream where I thought I was in a trigonometric function of an angle...
I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT THAT I KNIGHTED AN ELECTRIC FISH.....
Last night, I had a dream that I had discovered a new color.
But it just turned out to be a pigment of my imagination.
I recently pursued my dream career of becoming a very successful plagiarizer.
I tried, but I didn't make it.
I had a dream last night I was a muffler.
Last night I dreamed I was a muffler
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
Today I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram
Last night I was dreaming I was swing in a ocean of Fanta...
but turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night
I had a dream I was a muffler last night.
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
I had a strange dream last night that I was a muffler.
A man bursts into his therapist's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming I'm stuck inside a deck of cards!"
The therapist looked up from his paperwork and said, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."
Dreamed I Was a Muffler Last Night
I had a dream that I was a muffler
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
Last night I had a dream that I ate a twenty pound marshmallow.
I woke up this morning and my pillow was gone.
I had a dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow
When I woke up my pillow was gone
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
Had a dream that I was a tailpipe last night
Dreamed I was a muffler last night…
I had a dream that I was weightless
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
