Christmas Eve is special because...

...it's one of the only day where tomorrow is the present day.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JHolden814
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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If you're struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas (or any other special occasion)

Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GamingGod07770
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 05 2019
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So I told my kids we were having some special Christmas bread.

Ciabatta.

You know, like the song.

"Ciabatta watch out. Ciabatta not cry...."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pseu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
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This guy stops in a second hand petshop looking for a last minute Christmas gift for his wife.

The shop owner directs him to a 1,500$ parrot who can sing Christmas carols. The man doesnt believe the store owner and asks him for proof before dropping the 1,500. The store owner locks the doors and escorts the man to the back of the store and tells him โ€œThis is a very special parrot, before he sings you must warm him up by holding a lit match 12 inches beneath.โ€ He then takes out a match, lights it and holds it a rulers length beneath the parrot. After a few moments the parrot starts sining โ€œjingle bellsโ€ in the tone of Frank Sinatra. Thinking this might be some cheap parlor trick he asks for several more demonstrations.. โ€œRudolphโ€ โ€œFrosty the Snowmanโ€ โ€œDrummer Boyโ€ even โ€œI Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clausโ€ in the best impersonations heโ€™s ever heard! The man gladly hands over the cash and rushes home to amaze his wife. He holds the match a rulers length and nothing. The wife laughingly says he got ripped off. โ€œ No no honey this works watchโ€ he does it again only holding it half a rulers length this time and still nothing! The wife, laughing hysterically, starts going back upstairs. โ€œNO honey it really works watch!โ€ โ€œIm going to bed, Merry Christmasโ€ says the wife as she turns to head up the stairs. โ€œWAIT Honey, one more time, please!โ€ He pulls out another match, this time holding it three inches under the parrot who then squawks out โ€œCHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIREโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Hipphazy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Santa actually only had two reindeer

Rudolph and Olive (the other reindeer).

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LegendofPisoMojado
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
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Need help coming up with a Pun

I'm not sure where else to post this but I hope this is the right place.

A close girl friend of mine is a fine artist that specializes in greeting cards with funny/cute puns/lines on the front and since I am moving away in December I wanted to create a Christmas or Thank You card one for her. Some examples are Bonne Fett (with a picture of Boba Fett holding balloons, and You R2 Cute (with a picture of R2D2 and a heart). Essentially she does a lot of cultural references that can be put onto a greeting card.

The two things she loves in this world are Egg McMuffins and Chinese Coconut buns. Could I get some help coming up with a Christmas/Thank you Puns using one of those ideas I can put on a card?

Thanks so much!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/g0th1k4
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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Woman history teacher = dad

I told my history teacher my band was doing a christmas performance.

Ms. Teacher- "Will there be any special guests?"

Me- "John Stamos."

Ms. Teacher- "Then it'll be full house!"

Me- ๐Ÿ˜‘

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/spencerpaschal
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
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