Cassettes have an A side and a B side

So it makes sense that CD's came next

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Festive_Pybro
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Tapes have both sides A and B

It is logical that they will have a successor called CD

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/igothyper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Son: When geese fly in a 'V' formation, why is one side always longer?

Dad: Probably because there are more geese on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlamingNinja925
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When geese are migrating they form a "V" shape, but do you know why one side is always longer than the other?

Because there are more geese on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TempestWest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
so anyway im switching my major to marketing...

just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JacksonCM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken commit suicide?

To get to the other side.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/qarasaq
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Called the vets this morning...

Me: "Hello, I need to make an appointment for my pet Ostrich."

Vet: "Ok what's the problem?"

Me: "He's holding his head to one side."

Vet: "Hmm, maybe neck's weak?"

Me: "Haven't you got anything sooner?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a friend who got paid by the letter to write a phonics manual

To make a little extra cash he wrote a rhotic r on the side

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Westerfield
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Eulogy of an egg

He died last fry day. Thank God he wasn't beaten. Don't worry, he went over easy. He's now on the sunny side. He's definitely in a better plate.

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainBoomerang1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Family friends' 4 year old. Why does the fish cross the street?

So he can get on the other side.

Kid burst out laughing....

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jetsknight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is one side longer then the other when ducks fly in a V?

Because there’s more ducks on that side

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evanpatrick2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I've put on so much weight during Lockdown that my Sumo suit no longer fits me.

On the plus side, I no longer need a Sumo suit.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoElseButAlf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What diner meal is dangerous for vampires?

Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was talking to an interior designer recently, who had just designed Adeles gaming room

She said β€œAdele was a good person to work for, but we had problems with her computer desk. I put it on one side of the room, and Adele got pretty angry.”

She said Adele replied β€œNo! I want to play Halo from the other side”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Snail car

One day a snail went to a car dealership, he said to the dealer. I want a custom car, a car that’s very fast and had a big s on the side. The dealer said ok and the snail paid. 3 weeks later the snail got a call that his car was ready. When the snail went back to the dealership for his car and the dealer asked him why he snail wanted a big s on the side, and the snail said β€œI’ve been very slow all my life, so when I’m going down the freeway at high speeds, I want people to look over and say look at that escargot”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Neg12DollaBill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Trucker's Breakfast

A trucker came intoΒ  a Truck Stop CafΓ© and placed his order with the waitress. He said "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"

"No," the cook said.Β  "'three flat tires' mean three pancakes; 'a pair of headlights' are two eggs sunny side up; and 'a pair of running boards' are 2 slices of crisp bacon!"

"Oh.. OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"

She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrBobShelton_74
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
This year's Thanksgiving playlist is a buffet by ear, if you will...

The main dish will be Lambchop seasoned with Red Hot Chili Peppers & Salt-n-Pepa.

Accompanied by the side dishes: The Cranberries, Korn, and Black Eyed Peas.

And for dessert we'll have Vanilla Ice..Cream..Cake.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
We’re remodeling our home’s exterior and my wife is being prying/divisive regarding who I’m hiring to do the job.

She really wants to know who I’m siding with

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daddymcdadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Crane flies are optimists.

They're always looking on the bright side.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m starting to lose trust in the cross eyed girl I’m dating.

I think she’s seeing other people on the side.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PurpleSunCraze
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: "ARE YOU ASHAMED TO WALK WITH ME?"

Wife: "Why are you shouting?"

Me: "Because you're on the other side of the road. "

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Letting you all know that I've volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials held here in Melbourne. I received my first shot at 9.00 am this morning

It’s completely safe with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveя, and im currently feelshΞΊΞΉ Ο‡oρoshό я Ρ‡ΡƒΠ²ΡΡ‚Π²ΡƒΡŽ сСбя Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ странно ΠΈ я Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°ΡŽ, Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ Π²Ρ‹Ρ‚Π°Ρ‰ΠΈΠ» ослиныС ΡƒΡˆΠΈ.

πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the fastest thing on the river bed?

A motor-pike and side-carp.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?

To get to the other side effects.

~~ brazenly stolen from Alexa with my own twist.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/throwwayladdie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the zombie so grumpy?

He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce.

I found out she was seeing someone on the side

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Funwiwu2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Sadly due to a neurological condition, I have a permanent hand tremor..

Good side is that when I do a handshake, I do it literally.

(Condition is inoperable brain tumour)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A true story

So, I’m standing outside my office building with my older, wiser coworker, when he points up at a flock of geese flying in a V.

Me: [looks at the geese coworker is pointing to]

Coworker: β€œyou notice how one side of the V is longer than the other?”

Me: β€œyeah”

Coworker: β€œdo you know why that is?”

Me: β€œhmm... no”

Coworker: β€œthere’s more birds on that side”

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sensitive-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the ninja cross the road?

He didn't. He was already ON the other side!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.

There just happens to be more birds on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrscottib23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently moved from California to West Virginia and discovered both have the same squirrels.

Except here, they’re in the freezer and buckshot is a side dish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How do most Muslims like their eggs?

Sunni side up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeldaFan158
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A man, cursed by a wicked genie, goes to the local prophet for help.

The prophet hands him a six sided piece of paper. Confused, the man asks how it's supposed to help him. "Simple," the prophet says, "it's a hex a gon."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Actual underappreciated dad joke

Still one of my best so here's the set up.

I take my wife on a cruise for her birthday. Each night during dinner they have a section of things you would not normally try but you're on a cruise so try it. Anyway one night they had braised ox tongue. So I order it and get a side eye from the wife while doing so. It arrives and I had correctly anticipated her question. Anyway here's the conversation...

Braised ox tongue appetizer is set before me. I cut a small piece and put in it my mouth and begin to chew.

Wife: Well, how is it?!? Me: (slowly looking up) it's... tasty.
W: Did you really order that just to make that joke? Me: yes, yes I did.

In all actuality it was quite good.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/davedin3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I'd like to thank my legs

For supporting me. My arms, for always being by my side. And my fingers, I could always count on them.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Adventure84
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I had this one night stand and I felt really bad about it.

So, the next morning I raced out and bought another one for the other side of the bed.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I had this one night stand and I felt so bad about it...

So the next morning, I rushed out and bought another one for the other side of the bed.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When geese fly in a V formation, one side is always longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

There are more birds on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkinDeep69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you ever noticed

That when geese fly South for the winter in a V formation one side of the V is always longer than the other. You know why ?

.

There are more geese in that line

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jump-blues-5678
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the spy cross the road?

Because he was never really on your side.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jjelutins
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the river

to get to the otter side

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Goldygold2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the psychic chicken cross the road?

To get in touch with the other side.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/retsamerol
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A bit nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials.

The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ Ο‡oρoshό я Ρ‡ΡƒΠ²ΡΡ‚Π²ΡƒΡŽ сСбя Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ странно ΠΈ я Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°ΡŽ, Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ Π²Ρ‹Ρ‚Π°Ρ‰ΠΈΠ» ослиныС ΡƒΡˆΠΈ.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pot8toes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
This week I volunteered for the Russian developed Covid-19 vaccine...

I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ Ο‡oρoshό я Ρ‡ΡƒΠ²ΡΡ‚Π²ΡƒΡŽ сСбя Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ странно ΠΈ я Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°ΡŽ, Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ Π²Ρ‹Ρ‚Π°Ρ‰ΠΈΠ» ослиныС ΡƒΡˆΠΈ.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report

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