BREAKING: The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Dad Jokes.
They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Amusing hangar outside HOU airport
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︎ Mar 07 2021
My son asked me today the difference between βamusedβ and βbemusedβ.
At first I felt happy, but then I didnβt know what to think.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
Saw this on the streets today. Thought it's quite amusing.
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Wife asked for popcorn. She was not amused.
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︎ Dec 21 2020
What do you call an amusement park ride that's completely made out of iron?
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︎ Nov 10 2020
My wife went into labor today, so I read the front page of /r/DadJokes to her as a distraction from the pain. Unfortunately, she didnβt laugh once, was clearly not amused and I have no idea why...
It must have been the delivery...
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︎ Aug 26 2020
A family is in an amusement park and comes across an animatronic display of Al Gore playing the drums.
The mother says, "Hey everyone, look at that. Isn't that amazing?" The father, unimpressed, replies, "It's just an algorithm".
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︎ Oct 23 2020
DadHelp wanted: more variants for "interrupting cow" knock-knock joke to amuse kids
Everyone knows the interrupting cow knock knock joke but we like making up KKJs for other cows. Here are some of ours; please add more so I can continue to surprise and delight the young people near and dear to me. TIA!
(Obviously each joke goes "Knock knock" etc. I'll just write the "cow" part and the punchline)
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French cow: le moo
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Backwards cow: oom
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Upside down cow: woo
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Sad cow: moo hoo hoo
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Ghost cow: moo-oo-oo-oooo
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Police cow: moo ee oo ee oo ee oo
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Cow on a motorbike: (make zooming moo)
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Cow in disguise: Baa
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Horse in disguise: Moo
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Invisible cow: (quickly cover child's eyes) Moo
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Inaudible cow:
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︎ Oct 08 2020
He was... not amused lol
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︎ Mar 24 2020
I just bought a dictionary today and bought it home to find out that all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
Nintendo puns
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︎ Nov 24 2020
What do you call an amusing, mushroom-looking person?
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︎ Feb 10 2020
Me (feeling discomfort while at a North Atlantic bird-themed amusement park):
"Well, this is Auk-World...."
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︎ May 06 2020
How do you know an amusement park isn't fake?
When you see the ferris wheel.
(Made this joke after a 10 minute argument with my 5 year old niece. She pointed out the ferris wheel and I kept saying "I know... the fair is real.")
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︎ Feb 18 2020
The society is not amused
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︎ Feb 23 2019
When is door not a door?
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︎ Oct 15 2020
At amusement parks, when the line splits, we never pick the right line.
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︎ Dec 26 2019
When my wife was having our baby, I tried to distract her by telling Dad jokes. She wasnβt amused.
Must have been the delivery.
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︎ Apr 03 2018
Filling out a report at work... and finding ways to amuse myself while doing so
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︎ Apr 17 2019
When I found out crayola had a amusment park I was colerfuly suprised.
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︎ Sep 23 2019
My Wife told our kids they need to get their acts together.
I asked if it would be ok if they gathered their swords instead. She was not amused.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
My wife asked me to help her wrap presents...
So I started doing my best human beatbox impersonation.
"Yo! Yo! Presents in da hizzzzzzz!"
She wasn't as amused as I was.
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Whatβs orange and sounds like a parrot?
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︎ Jun 23 2020
Just came up with this joke for my roommate, she was not amused.
What do you call a stone with eyes?
Roxy
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︎ Feb 17 2019
She wasnβt very amused
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︎ May 03 2018
I wasn't amused when my friend stole my equivalent trigonometric expressions
Identity theft is not a joke.
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︎ Jan 08 2019
Did you ever hear of the girl who got dumper at the amusement park?
It was an emotional roller coaster
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︎ May 05 2018
If my kid is easily amused with a mirror, does that mean he will self distract?
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︎ Feb 15 2018
My roommate ran out of buns and used the last of my flatbreads for his breakfast this morning. He didn't find my response amusing.
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︎ Jul 30 2014
My friends were arguing about which roller coaster to go on next at the amusement park. When they asked for my opinion, I told them I didn't care.
I was just along for the rides.
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︎ Sep 30 2017
Dad jokes at the old amusement park.
First day of summer vacation, pack up the family and bring them to Canobie Lake Park, a local amusement park.
We all get on the Ferris Wheel and the listen to the instructions:
Operator: "Please keep you arms and legs in the cart at all times, remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop and please NO ROCKING!"
Me: "Awwww man, I was just abut to crank some AC/DC"
My family and the family in line behind us: ::audible groans::
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︎ Jun 23 2016
Wife was not amused
Recently in my neck of the woods, we have been experiencing a cold snap. This morning, my wife set me up for a zinger.
Wife (dressing our 10 month old daughter): I don't know how to dress her.
Me: Shirt goes on the top half, pants on the bottom half.
Wife: No! I mean for the temperature!
Me: Oh! Honey I don't think the temperature cares what she wears today.
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︎ Sep 23 2014
The Foo Fighters should have their own amusement park ride called the "Rockin' Grohlercoaster"
I just picture Dave Grohl riding the coaster car in his throne with his leg in a cast rocking out.
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︎ Dec 05 2016
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the amusement park?
He sued them for funfair dismissal.
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︎ Jun 19 2017
Customer dadjoked my boss and I tonight. I loved it. His wife and my boss were not amused.
So I work at a pizza shop. This middle aged man, typical dad polo shirt, white New Balances, etc... comes in with his wife. They want subs. So my boss is taking their order. She asks him if he wants any cheese on his sub. He responds "yeah, that religious stuff". My boss looks up at him confused and says, "what?". I immediately jump in and say, "Swiss!" My boss looks even more confused. The guy is smirking and says, "yeah, the holy kind!" His wife lets out the biggest groan as him and I crack up. My boss just shook her head and walked away in disgust.
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︎ Jun 01 2014
Taking a car load of kids to amusement park today. One kid screams "Please tell me that's Knott's Berry Farm." ...
I reply, "It's Knott."
Kids in unison "Awww."
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︎ Dec 29 2016
I need help from all the dads out there...
You are tasked with making an advertisement for an amusement park, however you want to make it to STOP people from coming to the carnival... I'm curious to see your advertisements, also try to keep the jokes under 50 words.
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Saw a guy riding an amusement park ride alone today.
I wonder if he still said "weeee!", or if he said "meeee!" instead.
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︎ Sep 05 2016
My wife sometimes has trouble thinking of the right word for things. This morning, she asked me "what's it called when you have no bars?" Without missing a beat, I told her...
"Prohibition." She wasn't as amused as I was, I'm afraid.
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︎ Aug 01 2020
Said this in my friends car, they weren't amused
talking about a tv show
"I've got seasons 1 to 6, do you want them?"
"What about season 3, 4, and 5?"
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︎ May 31 2017
What do you call an Iron Wheel at an Amusement Park?
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︎ Aug 27 2020
Is this amusement-park big wheel made of iron?
Yes. It's a ferrous wheel
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︎ Aug 24 2020
What is Ironmanβs favorite ride at the amusement park?
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︎ Jun 26 2020
While my wife was in labor I read her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didnβt seem amused...
I guess it was the delivery!
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︎ Aug 06 2019
What do you call an amusement ride made of iron?
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︎ Jul 11 2019
While my wife was in labor, I told her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she wasn't amusedβ¦
It must have been the deliveryβ¦
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︎ Aug 30 2017
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