Alev Puns

In fact, he'll tell you that the best thing for a headache is an anvil.

Aleve-of-absence

I said, "I can't Aleve this."

We were watching TV when she said her back was sore and the conversation went like this:

Her: My back is bothering me a little.

Me: Do you want an aleve?

Her: I mean I guess if you don't want me to stay.....

I was confused for a second till I realized what she thought I said.

Aleve.

She told him she doesn't have any but she's got Aleve.

I piped up and asked "well where you going?"

In the room full of about fifteen people, I got a big mix of groans and genuine laughs

At the end of Jeopardy, they say that Aleve gives the 2nd and 3rd place contestants prize money as consolation.

I said, "I wonder why Aleve gives money to 2nd and 3rd place"

Without hesitation, my dad goes, "Guess they just don't want any sore losers."

Mom: ... Yeah well you can't take Motrin and Aleve at the same time.

Me: So are you saying I can't take Motrin since I'm on Aleave?

Dad: That's my boy!

She: I'm going to take Aleve. Me: You can't take Aleve. She: Why not? Me: Because I need you here.