I am driving through England on a road trip, and I’m supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.

Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25
🚨︎ report
A guy runs into a bar and goes on a trip to the hospital.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Angle_Of_Flames
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25
🚨︎ report
A couple of weeks ago my dad was taking us on a camping trip preceeded by a two hour drive, so a minute before we were going to leave the house he sat me and my brother down and told us:

Speak now or forever hold your pee

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31
🚨︎ report
I was driving to a weekend hunting trip when I came to a fork in the road. Sign said bear left...

So I went home.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sulpfiction
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28
🚨︎ report
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...

That was just one of the downfalls!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
What did the wolf say when he wanted to leave for a trip?

Let's GOOOOOoooooooooowwwww

(my 7yo daughter made this up and had me breathin hard through my noise for a split second)

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
My hippy son asked for money for a field trip to the symphony hall

But it seemed like a Phishing attempt to me

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mediocre trip to Oklahoma?

An OK trip.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BioSlothInfinite
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
Went on a trip a few years ago and the airline asked me if I had any baggage.

Apparently my response of 'only emotional' didn't FLY well!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wallaba4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
Best thing to see on a long trip. Lol 😊
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kaylabragolove21
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
What did the 2x4 say on a road trip?

β€œI’m board, are we stairs yet?”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NikoBuffalogna
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad how he managed to stop a bad trip.

He said "Tums"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prendrefeu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
🚨︎ report
Why does it feel so good to screw on a camping trip?

Cuz It's fucking intents

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rare_Breed721
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
Just got back from a camping trip with the family

The days were incredible, but the nights were in tents

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.

It was touch and go from there on.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
My family and I had a crazy camping trip...

It was in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bradthemadcat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
Recently I took my family on a road trip, and we got a flat tire. When my daughter got out of the car to help, she almost got hit by a car.

Good thing she wasn't, that trip would've been short-lived.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SPONGEROBERT123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
During a recent camping trip, my son rigged his drone to paddle his canoe for him. He called it the "DronePaddle3000".

I just call it a Rowbot.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
My wife left me on a Family Field trip

I should've made my wife turn right.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chair_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
A blind dude took a trip to Germany,

Call that shit not-see Germany

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FractureRyan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
I fell in love with the tick that bit me when I was on a trip to Rome

It was a Romantic gesture

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nitefury07
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
A gust of wind blew my wife’s skirt up during our trip to France

That certainly wasn’t the Eiffel I was expecting

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wxlson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
Two friends are on a road trip and one if them sees a sign stating they are approaching Louisville. One says "we should stop in 'Louie-ville' for lunch. The other says it's not pronounced 'Louie-ville', it's 'Louis-ville'!

They go back and forth for a while, neither convincing the other that they are right. Finally they decide on a place to eat. When they get to the restaurant, one of the friends asks the person taking their order to settle it once and for all. "Me and my friend are having a debate and hopefully since you live here, you can set my friend straight. Would you please tell us... and say it clear and slow for my friend here... where are we?"

The person behind the counter gets a puzzled look on his face, then says

>!"Buuuuuurrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiiiiinnnnggg"!<

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FaultyData
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
My wife and I are planning a trip to San Francisco to finally fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in person.

She asked me, β€œWhat are you going to do when you see it?”

I said, β€œLet’s cross that bridge when we get there.”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you trip a circuit breaker?

You stick your foot out

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Urethra_insert1on
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
Why is Dad in such a hurry to buy the glue right before the road trip?

Because it's important that everyone sticks to the plan.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rawSingularity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
We were on a road trip and stopped to fill up

Everyone got out to pee and get snacks. I stretched getting out of the car and I farted. My 16yo daughter said, "Dad, that's gross."

I said, "Why? After all we are at the GAS station."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoetted
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I’m on a trip for work and my girlfriend sent me this last night.
πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nathantheman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I once went on a trip to the North Pole.

It all went south from there.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Went on a trip in Paris

Yeah, Eiffel.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aloecera
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
During my trip to Madrid I was staying at this small motel when I grew pretty ill. Thankfully the people at the front desk sent the on call doctor over and he was able to fix me up real quick. I told him I didn't expect such a small place to have such a good doctor, to which he told me

Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend had a small horse that he tried taking trail riding. It died the first trip, unfortunately.

It was a one-trek pony.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Would it count as a fall trip

If I tripped off of a cliff during fall?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_samdwich_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a fake wild cat that trips a bunch?

A False-lot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoupSter89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My camping trip to the beautiful country of Iceland was ruined by a pack of wild dogs

They just wouldn’t stop BjΓΆrking

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mono-klu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
After dad came back from his hunting trip we were eager to know what kind of meat was on our plates, so we asked him for a clue. Well, he said, "It's what mummy calls me sometimes."

That's when my little sister screamed to me, "Don't eat it, it's an asshole."

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My mother-in-law always wanted to visit the Valley of a Thousand Hills, so I've booked her trip -

a week on each hill.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A comic I drew of myself and my student before we go on a field trip to the bowling alley
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dungaroojones
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I went on a traumatic fishing trip when I was a kid.

I'm still reeling from it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife to pack my stuff in a suitcase for business trip. But she packed in my backpack instead

She said it's the same and easier. Well yes but that's not the case

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sabyte
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My reaction when I take a trip to the Hoover Dam and the temperature breaks 100Β°
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanberet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Stopped by to get gas after my trip to Germany, and when the pump asked if I wanted a receipt

The nine button wasn’t working.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BALLOONCHEF1997
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Nice weather for a day trip

My wife mentioned that it looked nice enough out for a day trip. Naturally, I went to the other room, got my bass, and came back and started playing the main line from Day Tripper.

I don’t think I’m invited on the day trip anymore, but I still think it was a sound choice to bass my pun on her plans for the day.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bartmannjugband
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.

It was out last resort.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you ever had sex on a camping trip?

It’s fucking intents

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't aliens make a trip here?

Because they don't want to Plan-et (Plan earth)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetty_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
On a recent boat trip, we got to pet a whale!

It was a happy occasion but I was feeling Blue.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My son wanted to go for a costly trip

So I reminded him about all things he could have achieved in life if he hadn't left college.

A guilt trip is still a trip right?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nastynash2k
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Two doctors are out hiking and the first one trips and cuts his knee pretty badly on a rock. The second doctor says, "That looks pretty bad. Want me to stitch that up for you?" The first doctor says, "Nah, I got it."

The second doctor responds, "Suture self."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bruce_lees_ghost
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Two Saudi Arabians wanted to go on a trip. The guy asks his friend "Want to go South?" He replied "Yemen."
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnotherNihm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the fisherman plan a trip to Alaska?

For the halibut!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/twowhlr
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't Plan a Trip With Virgin Airlines

They never go all the way.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YiddishThunder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a knight who always trips?

Sir Landsalot

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ayyyyysdf165
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I regret buying a boomerang with teeth on my recent trip to Australia.

It came back to bite me.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My husband, toddler, and I are on a road trip. We turned on to the highway...

And directly facing the sun. I pulled down my visor down.

"Man," I said. "Just think, it's so bright in here I need to squint, even though the sun is 93 million miles away."

"What are you talking about?" my husband said. "He's right behind us."

groan

πŸ‘︎ 884
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuurAlaOrolo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2016
🚨︎ report
We’re going on a trip
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A-Thot-In-Theory
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report
My city's photography club is planning a trip to Vegas...

They're leaving on the red-eye flight

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
On a fishing trip, a son asks his father, β€œWhat happens if a fish loses it’s eye?”

The father replies, β€œIt becomes a fsh.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YeshSV
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A man from Paris trips over.

He says β€œOh no! Eiffel!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Misterhijack420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the campsite of a government camping trip?

The tentagon.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ozfest117
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad just got back from a business trip to Alaska ...

I asked him how the trip was.

He said, "Oh, Juneau."

πŸ‘︎ 343
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyle1775
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2016
🚨︎ report
A coworker recently got back from a trip to Germany...

He came in Monday with a cough and runny nose. Then I didn’t see him until the following week.

When he came back I said, β€œWow, I was really getting worried when I didn’t see you the rest of the week.”

β€œWhy’s that?” He said.

β€œWell you seemed really sick...” I started, β€œand you DID go to Germany after all.”

He had a puzzled look on his face.

β€œYou haven’t heard about getting sick in Germany?” I asked.

β€œNo” he replied.

β€œWell everyone knows... it’s the wurst.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uscmacleod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a half dozen numbered storage β€˜bays’ that I keep downstairs, all my camping equipment is in the last one, so every camping trip starts with me getting back to bay six.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I was on a camping trip with my dad and I had only one rule for him

no pun in tent dad

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JacobFe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a snack do when he sees someone trip?

He snickers.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IcyDrops
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Whenever I come back from a lengthy trip to the bathroom

"Whew, I'm pooped."

πŸ‘︎ 924
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FX114
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2014
🚨︎ report
I brought my wife back a souvenir from my trip to Copenhagen.

I told her it's something gotten in the state of Denmark.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/j00bz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I always tell my kids when they leave β€œhave a good trip”.

Catch you next fall.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
How much would a trip to spain cost?

It depends on where you live . For example, if you live in Spain,it's free

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My father offered to pay for a trip to any city in France

Nice, don't you think?

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I might take a trip to space

I just need everyone here to help me planet so it will be a blastoff!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me if I wanted to go on a trip to France with him...

I said sure, what have I got Toulouse?

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrrisrrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone offered me a free trip to Egypt if I get five people under me to also signup.

I hate pyramid schemes.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull...

-Oh man that' spainful

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ultimatedraex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Clark Kent never needed a chaperone on field trips as a kid

Because he already had super vision.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I took a math book on a survival camping trip to the Arctic

I learned two things, quadratic equations, and warm ups are not what I had thought.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotBilroy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
On a road trip with my daughter and arrived at our hotel

The receptionist tells us we are upgraded to a suite.

I exclaim, "Sweet!" Then grin and nudge my daughter with my elbow while she groans and rolls her eyes

Best part was the receptionist looking at her and saying, "Don't worry, my dad does it too"

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScanBeagle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I caught a lot of bass on my last fishing trip.

They weren't much treble to catch.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jihoc1748
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
🚨︎ report
After a long trip back home, my mother announced β€œIf anyone has to go to the restroom, go now.” And I continued:

β€œOr forever hold your pee!”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Liqqa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Me and my family are on a road trip. After waking up from a long nap, I ask my dad, "what state are we in now?"

He replies, "the state of confusion!"

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
🚨︎ report
I told my dad all the school is going on a trip

He said: Each one carry 2 bricks

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Normal_Mexican
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
When my son didn't laugh at a fart joke during a trip to the Egyptian History Museum, I realized we had drifted apart.

Now we don't even have a toot in common.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sometimes_Lies
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife is going on a trip tomorrow and told me she needs to pack.

I told her that's quite unfortunate because he's dead.

πŸ‘︎ 154
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unidentifiedfish
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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My wife and I are going on a trip to San Francisco to fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing the Golden Gate in person.

She said, β€œ What are you going to do when you finally see it?”

I said, β€œLet’s cross that bridge when we get there.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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