Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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I was brushing my daughter’s teeth...

My five year old daughter had a blue colored sucker before bed. As I was brushing her teeth, I noticed they were a bit discolored.

β€œHey! You’ve got Bluetooth!” I said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/byrd107
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Dad joked my wife and son. Feeling very proud.

Okay so today is payday and my wife and I were making up our budget. My son (2 years old) comes over and takes the pen trying to color on my wife's notebook. We turn it to a blank page and just let him go crazy.

He then starts trying to color on himself, marking a line on his forehead.

I take the pen and say, "No Joshua! That's where I, (looked at my wife when I said this next part) DRAW THE LINE." Wife groaned, my son wined for a bit, I laughed my ass off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HobbyLobbyAtheist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
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A Spill

I work at a place that makes shakes. Had a bit of a spill one day of a certain green-colored one. My manager looks over and says, "Well, at least the counter's still in mint condition."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmac313
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
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My uncle said this to me while I was doing my nails (x-post RedditLaqueristas)

I had just finished painting my nails when my aunt and uncle came over. My nails were all black, except my ring fingers which were a deep red. My uncle asked me why some of my nails were a different color. "It's called an accent nail. They're really in style." I informed him. "More like accident nail!" He then proceeded to laugh quite a bit at his own joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/annielemoose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2013
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