Dern tootin’!
His office has a high plaque build-up
He was outstanding in his field
Feyonce
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
The no bell prize.
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!
Transparent
(sorry it sucks, it's like 2:30 in the morning right now and I haven't slept)
(Edit: holy shit! I wasn't expecting this to get so many upvotes. Also thanks for the awards guys, I really appreciate it!)
Since they're all... graduated.
The bitter, better-batter bought her butter!
I can't tell you how proud that makes me.
It was outstanding in it's field.
Secretly (when my wife was out), I'd ask her "who do you love more?", and praise her when she said "dadda!". This has been going on for weeks now.
The other day, my wife got home and I wanted to show her my little 'trick'. So I asked our daughter, "Who do you love more?", in which case she replied "dadda!" and ran towards my wife (which is very clearly her favourite btw).
My wife, who didn't care much for the new thing I taught our daughter, bent down and picked her up to cuddle with her. Her facial expression changed a bit, then she laughed. She looked at me and said "well, she ran to me as she said that, and her diaper is full... so clearly she was full of crap when she said that!"
My wife is now in on the dad jokes and won this one!
Edit: Bolded the text to emphasize what part of this story was the dad joke...
Final Edit: My wife was surprised at how much this blew up! She says thanks to everyone, but she has no idea what the awards are for (since she doesn’t use Reddit). 😂
because he was out standing in his field
I know he means well.
Edit: Wow. Thanks for the awards, kind Reddit strangers!
Novak Djokovic
(This is my fiancé’s favourite joke he wanted me to share with all of you because he thinks it will make me ‘Reddit famous’) 😂😅
It was Layheehoo
Edit: thank you sooo much for so many awards. Made my day.
He was outstanding in his field.
The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
Now he’s a great grandfather
Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too..
Edit: thank you for awards, I have never gotten one before. I apologize that this is a repost, I did see it on TikTok and thought that it was cute and wanted to share. In the future I will check the sub for similar content before I post anything.
It’s kinda a big dill.
The no-bell prize
I said "Thanks." He said "Don't mention it."
It's for best supporting roles
Now all I've got is Nokia!
The naval academy
Because he wanted space
Edit: Thank you for the awards.
Posthummus.
Because he was simply outstanding in his field.
I said I’d nominate her for the SAG awards.
It was littering.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me
Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.
I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans
Edit: there->their
Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!
2021
They hit gold
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
Apparently, he was out standing in his field.
Wait.......It's a tie.
..for spilling the beans.
He was outstanding in his field
He was out standing in his field.
Because he was outstanding in his field
The No-Bell Prize 🕺🏼
for outstanding achievements in his field.
