5 Letter Puns

He stopped and looked at me with a completely straight face, said "dub", and went back to playing.

It took me a moment to understand what happened, but I started laughing harder than I have in a while. (He has trouble differentiating between "What starts with x" and "What does x start with")

But nothing tops a cheese pizza.

Short.

Clue:- that wasn’t a question

Wrong.

T O D A Y

(Can be used any day, any year!)

It’s true.

While many believe that a pirate’s favorite letter is ”R”, His first love be the “C”

My 5 year old son is putting together a puzzle of the states, and as he’s doing so, he’s counting all the letters in each state (too see which has the most). He then comes to Tennessee.

Him: Why do we call it Tennessee?

Shouldn’t we call it… (as he giggles to himself)… Nine-essee?

We all groaned.

Now everyone has to use Capitalized letters.

He opened the letter, and it was full of parsley. They had garnished his wages

A letter

Smiles. The first and the last letter are a mile apart.

A four letter word that starts with f and ends in k. If you don't get it you have to use your hands.

Fork

I’m a recently bald man who’s hairline got the better of me during lockdown, that’s life. My 9 year old daughter doesn’t really understand why I’ve done this and occasionally refers to me as a peanut, which I don’t mind as we’re always messing about.

Anyway last night we’re playing hangman together where you have to guess the letters that make up a word and I was struggling to guess what she’d written. Eventually my guesses revealed:

H A I R L E S S

I just wanted to share on here as I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder!

Also want to say that I tell her a lot of the jokes on here and pass them off as my own work so thank you!

The letters after the B

Eternity. It has 8 letters.

Daughter: Why are you so mean! Me: Well, I consider myself to be above average. Daughter: What's that mean? Me: I suppose I could assign each letter a value and then add them up and give you the mean. Daughter: Are you crazy? Me: No, that's how you calculate the mean. Daughter: I don't know what that means. Me: I don't know yet either, I have to calculate it. Daughter: Ugh, why do you have to be like this. I'll be home at eleven.

Game, set, match, Dad wins.

The direction the first letter faces.

I’ve done that. Now what do I do with the letters?

I know a bit dark, but all in good fun :)

…the next letter in the Greek alphabet is pi.

"Do the letters TG mean anything to you?" He asked.

"No"

"What about RP?"

"No they mean nothing to me, " I replied.

"What about AH?" He asked.

"Look," I said, "am I suspected of something?

"No sir," he replied. "These are just initial inquiries."

I call it letter rip

(While doing a crossword)

“There’s one here - postman with a heavy sack”

“How many letters?”

“…”

Because all proper tea is theft.

Bonus:

Why did Karl Marx write in all lowercase letters? He hated capitalism. Why did the student drop out of the communism class? Because of lousy Marx. He's more classless than a Marxist utopia.

They wanted my resume and undercover letter. 😎

If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN, they get really upset lol

It's just a "q"with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line

(Someone always yells out “Arrr!”)

You would think so, but a pirate’s favorite letter is actually P. It’s like an R, but it only has one leg. ARRRRRRR!

There were lots of L's.

[I pulled this one on my wife as we were rummaging through the display looking for the right letters for our guests' first names. I was afraid the joke was too obtuse, but bright girl that she is, she got it right away. She gave me a wonderful eye roll and said, "You had to go there, huh?" Our kids are in college now so we're empty-nesters, but I can still have a proud dadjoke moment sometimes.]

… sigh

The car dealer prepares it, and when the snail comes in for the car he asks “why the letter ‘S’ on the side?”

The snail replies “I want people to see me and say ‘Wow! Look at that S Car Go!’”

The founders gathered around and pulled letters out of a bag: C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?

No he didn't, he's only 3. And you know what else? He's not real. Just like all of these posts with click-bait titles of, "My X year old told me this", to get attention and farm karma.

If your joke is so weak that you need to invoke my-child-said-this, then just don't post.

Seriously, just stop.

Obligatory dad jokes tax:

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. My lawyer thinks he can get me five.

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, and never has 5 letters.

There are 8 letters in alphabet

I’ve done that. Now what do I do with the letters?

I call it LETTER RIP

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The direction the first letter faces