3 D Printer Puns

I have had a Canon printer for years.

But all I have is a printer

I'm not impressed... I had a Canon printer years ago

So for background, I work at McDonald's. I have to scan every Euro Bill 50 € and up.

So one day a dad comes in with his two little daughters. He places his order and hands me a 50 € bill. I scan it and scan it again and the machine won't recognize its validity, when the dad says:'That's odd, I JUST changed my printer's toner' Daughters facepalm other dads in line nod

For our anniversary my wife requested a printer/scanner. After doing some research I tell her that Brother would be a good brand to get.

"The one I'm looking at is black. That's a little bit racists, right?" Her face doesn't change, an indication that the joke failed and just to move on.

So she asks me if the printer has cables.

"Nope! It works through the wifi so you won't have to worry about wires! You can even print stuff from your phone!"

"Oh. So doesn't that mean I can't hook a Brother up?"

I was so proud of her.

He told me there was a paper jam at the printer, but when I got there I didn't hear any music.

Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore..

I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password

Why Bob Marley?

Because its always jammin

God damn it

He apparently has a 3-D printer

Employee: Does the printer print in Black & White?

Dad(Boss): Only Black, the white is already on the paper

Employee: Nervous Laugh

I told my wife about a recent story in /r/TalesFromTechSupport about a late-night alarm going off at work. She told me that at one of her previous employers, a turkey had flown through a window.

Her: I knew about it because I worked for the general counsel and she had to know about it.
Me: In case the turkey tried to sue?
Her: In case it was fowl play.

You may also enjoy A Previous Dialogue with My Wife

Me: Dude, this printer is printing so slowly.

Him: Well I guess you can't call it a s-PRINT-er then.

Waiting for the printer, in the copy room, to finish my job and a couple of others. Some guy walks in and asks, "What's the queue look like?"

"Well, it's a bit like an 'O,' but with a little line at the bottom."

He more or less turned around on the spot and walked out.

Friend (who works in a research hospital): I'm building a bigger 3-D printer

Me: So what's your first project?

Friend: I should probably print something for the prosthetics department, they're always bugging me for stuff, but the small printer head takes too damn long

Me: Well, then you should charge them an arm and a leg

Friend: Seriously? Did you really just say that?

A new African American employee of his walks into his office and asks "Do you guys have a colored printer here?"

To which he responds, "Dude it's 2015, you can use whatever printer you want!"

We're at a shop's checkout.

Dad is paying in cash, with 20s and 50s, so cashier decides to run them under one of those special lights to see if they are fake. My dad looks them straight in the eyes and says 'No need to check, we got them fresh from the printer at home!'

I told him its 2015, segregation is over and he can use whatever printer he wanted.

I got the groan and he walked away to ask the librarian...

Asked Amazon's Echo speaker (I guess her name is Alexa) to tell me a bad joke.

Alexa: "there's music coming from the printer, the paper must be jamming"

"What kind of music does a printer make?"

"A paper jam".

My kitten loves to jump onto our printer and just sit there...... He sees this and immediately says..... "oh look.... cat scan"

We were setting up our new wifi enabled printer when I dropped this joke.

(We were trying to get my Mum's laptop to connect to the printer)

Dad: The laptop can't see the printer. Me: Neither can I, it's in the other room.

I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

Not impressed. Had a canon printer for years.

Not impressed I've had a canon printer for years.

Not impressed. Had a canon printer for years.

Son: Dad, my computer can't find the WiFi printer anymore...

Me: I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password

Son: Why Bob Marley?

Me: Because it's always jammin

Son: God damn it