Talk about a sad state of affairs
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
You never use water on a Greece fire.
TODAY
Merry Christmas!
2021
UCLA.
UCLA
I remember it like it was yesterday
I think that’s just nuts
Because there are a lot of Oregon donors
2022
Disclaimer: reconstructed joke
And i got 48 thousand matches
Two winners were declared: twenty twenty one, and twenty twenty two
A: A Sandy Eggo!
Note: my 7yo daughter told me this, her dad joke game is unbelievably strong!
Fellow purveyors of puns and dad jokes - I need your help! My extended family had four daughters born in 2021, and I'm trying to come up with a name to describe them collectively. Below are my best attempts so far, though I'm not loving them. Can you think of anything better - preferably not Covid related?
The Pandemic Princesses
The Lockdown Ladies
The Quarantine Queens
Some of these are border-line uncle jokes. I'm also an uncle. I keep all these jokes in my dadabase. Aka Google notes.
Some of these I got off of podcasts, the dad joke API, some from movies, but most are from this sub. Let me know if you want a source for a joke or if one of them was yours I'll give credit.
It's ok to be Frank with people. Or josh with them. But try not to Rob or Sue them.
What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck
If the USA is so great then why did they make USB?
Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa. Which is strange.
You think he'd be from mad-at-gas-car
How did Jesus keep his abs? Crossfit
What does a Jewish cowboy celebrate Yee-Hanukka
What did the stamp say to the letter Stick with me and you'll go places
I gave my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick She's still not talking to me
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it. Envelope ✉
Why do people on Athens hate getting up early Because dawn is tough on Grease
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain A purramid
Why do fish like salt water? Pepper makes them sneeze
If april showers bring may flowers What do may flowers bring? PILGRIMS
Why do cemeteries have fences Because people are dying to get in
Did you know Bruce Lee had a Faster older brother? Sudden lee
Did you know he also had a Vegan brother? Broco lee
Pig black belt in karate Pork chop
How do you put an odd number of sugar cubes in 3 cups of coffee If you have 20 sugar cubes? You have to use all the cubes.
You put 1 in the first cup, one in the second cup, and 18 in the last cup. Because 18 is an odd number of sugar cubes to put on a cup of coffee.
I was going to tell your a joke about Yoga But it's Not working out
What do you do if your wife starts smoking Use some lubricant
did you hear about the woman with 12 breasts? Sounds weird, dozen tit?
What did baby corn say to momma corn ( I got a boy scout selling popcorn to eyeroll me on this one) Where's popcorn
What type of pasta do they serve at a haunted house? Fettuccine Afradio
What do you call a werewolf streamer? Liken subscribe
Why don't Elton John songs have a copyright? You can tell everybody this is your song.
My mom swears up and down cows arent real I was in udder disbelief
Skeleton goes into a bar, he orders a beer and a mop
Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet Because th
... keep reading on reddit ➡California: NA, I'm CA, dummy.
Henceforth, the California Highway Patrol and the Department of Fish & Wildlife will merge to become the Department of Fish & CHiPs.
It Hertz
I just paid $2.00 to air up my tires!
It is an astronomical loss.
Nobody woks in LA
New Jersey.
What goes after USA?
USB.
Edit: Thanks for the awards and the upvotes! My daughter is going to love this.
They’re definitely not PC
Man, it feels like yesterday wasstill 2021
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Bernie.
Yeetalian
You have five fingers.
It's a CHiP off the old block!
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
Maine of course
I remember it as if it were yesterday.
Fellow purveyors of puns and dad jokes - I need your help! My extended family had four daughters born in 2021, and I'm trying to come up with a name to describe them collectively. Below are my best attempts so far, though I'm not loving them. Can you think of anything better - preferably not Covid related?
The Pandemic Princesses
The Lockdown Ladies
The Quarantine Queens
A sandy Eggo.
Sandy Eggo.
