14 Hilarious 2 Of One Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

2 guys are hunting together and one of them gets mauled by a bear. So the one who isn't hurt calls the hospital and says "hey so my friend was mauled by a bear and I think he's dead, can you send help?"

The woman on the other end of the line says "well okay, can you make sure he's dead?". Suddenly you hear a BANG "okay now what?"

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👤︎ u/Darth_Ranga

📅︎ Jan 20 2022

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If a one L Lama is a holy man and a 2 L Llama is a beast of burden, what is a three L Llama?

A big fire in Boston.

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👤︎ u/PensionNo8124

📅︎ May 07 2021

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Saw an airbed for sale yesterday listed at 2 prices, one for the airbed pre-blown up and the other with no air in. Unfortunately, they sold out of the the one with no air in so I had to fork out for the more expensive pre-blown one.

Stupid inflation, always driving up prices.

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👤︎ u/Bigg_UN

📅︎ Jul 17 2021

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2 windmills are in a field. One asks: "What kind of music do you like?"

The other responds: "Well, I'm a big metal fan".

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👤︎ u/Master_Achi

📅︎ Nov 03 2020

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I was working in my shop, when one of the cashier came up to me and said, "These 2 guys came in and tried to give me some fake $100 dollar bills."

"What did they look like?" I asked

He said, "$100 bills."

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Jun 11 2021

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I went to the hardware store with a friend and the store had pallets of soil, seed, and fertilizer out front. We both stopped and looked at one of the pallets stacked high with bags of dried steer manure. The sign said, "Strict limit 2 per customer."

My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."

True story.

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👤︎ u/ObiWanKaDaddy

📅︎ Apr 29 2021

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2 cowboys were riding along and one saw a tree with bacon dangling from the branches. One called out saying "Look a Bacon Tree!" As they went closer to have a look they were confronted with a sky full of arrows. The other cowboy yelled:

This is no Bacon Tree, this is a Ham Bush.

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👤︎ u/brendo20

📅︎ Dec 26 2019

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(Dad told me this one just now) In Jamaica, a slice of apple pie costs $2. In the Bahamas, a slice costs of apple pie costs $2.50...

Those are the pie-rates of the Carribean!

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👤︎ u/SakuOtaku

📅︎ Jun 19 2019

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I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.

I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Dec 16 2019

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I used to own 3 ski lodges, one in the Alps, one in Aspen and one in France. When I got divorced the first 2 times, my exes each got a lodge as part of the settlement. The third marriage, I decided I needed a prenuptial agreement to cover my assets. It was all I could do!

It's my last resort!

Edit: changed "it was" to "it's"

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Jan 08 2020

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There are 2 clear reasons why one should never drink water out of the toilet.

Number 1 ...and Number 2.

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👤︎ u/UriahPeabody

📅︎ Dec 17 2017

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I have 2 coins in my hand with a total value of 6 cents, and one of the coins isn't a nickel.

The other one is.

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👤︎ u/slowshot

📅︎ Sep 09 2016

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There are premade characters in Wasteland 2, each one of them a different class.

I like their names. The Sniper is called Cold-Eye, Demolition girl is Cherry Bomb, and the Medic is called Pills. I'm surprised they didn't call the Brawler Two On The Nose.

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👤︎ u/OgreMonk

📅︎ Sep 27 2014

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I hear Tom Hiddleston is in the background of one of the scenes in Avengers 2

It's quite a low key appearance

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👤︎ u/Wigglesface

📅︎ May 03 2015

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