My wife was just trying to convince me to spend $1k on a new king size bed...

...I told her I’d have to sleep on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ih8YourCat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Dad, do you know why it’s so dark at night?

No sun

EDIT: oh my god 1k upvotes! THIS like, tripled my post karma. You guys are incredible. Much love!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evil_Chef
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips...

'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.

'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.

Edit : Holy crap ! More than 1K updoots for a silly joke ? Thanks guys ! I am not sure whether to be proud or ashamed of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aabesh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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What do you call a lame person who has telepathy?

Telepathetic

Edit: How tf this is my first post that blew over 1k!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snowbirb0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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To spell panda you only need P and A
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πŸ‘€︎ u/touchmybackwalls
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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Why call it a dad bod

It's actually a father figure.

Edit: woke up this morning and saw this with almost 1k up votes! Thank you guys, I'm honored! ( Hi Honored, I'm Dad)

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tuckereh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2016
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[Not Joke] Petition to change upvotes and downvotes to upwards and downwards facing spatulas.

Idea behind each: Upvote = burger flip motion for burgers flipped, hence my 1k karma / burgers flipped

Downvote = Drop your spatula, that was an actual bad joke, kinda like this post.

And always remember, here’s one in Spanish: Uno.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paparabbit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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So a blind man walks into a bar...

and a table... and a chair... and the bartender...

Edit: thanks for almost 1k views guys!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggismeh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skormes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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