1 Sentence Puns

She said its effects are so restrictive she may as well be in jail.

I told her to just be glad she's not on her semicolon because that's a sentence that doesn't end.

I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.

I love to eat capitalization.

See... They're like two completely different sentences.

...who was found guilty of killing his wife and consuming the remains. He was sentenced to death by combat. Even then as the gates lifted in the colosseum he showed no remorse..... He was glad he ate 'er.

It got 2 back to back sentences.

Because semi-colons don't complete a sentence!

So I said "it depends on which pier you mean. Can you use it in a sentence?"

His reply: "Yes. How do you spell pier?"

Some say he never finished his sentence.

Your death sentence

I heard they were going to give him a hard sentence

It usually resulted in a long sentence.

The judge is bound to give me a tough sentence

A sentence.

Hey guys! I am getitng a puppy in a few months and her name is supposed to be Zoe. However since she is pure golden retriever because of some laws her full name has to to be “Give me your ‘name’” and I want it to be some kind of pun containing the word “Zoe” since that what she’s gonna be called like Zoedorable but something that matches the sentence and I though that maybe you guys can help.

He never got to finish his sentence

Lucky for him, it was a light sentence.

The judge told him to expect a long sentence.

A police spokesperson says it may take him up to 11 years to finish his sentence.

She got out after 5 years and I had to serve the remaining 5.

We always finish each others sentences.

He just couldn't finish his sentence

He never finished his sentence.

They gave him a tough sentence. He got off better than his accomplice, The semi-colon, who is in between two complete sentences.

This way, there's a period at the end of the sentence.

They were sentenced to death

“Hey remember when we were kids and use to finish each other’s sentences?”

I’m expecting a long sentence

Inmate: It’s bec..

Officer: Yes?

Inmate: I think I have..

Officer: Go on.

Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence?

Officer: Sure. Parole denied.

He'll be the first mumble rapper to finish his sentence

This has been my favourite joke for at least a couple years now.

A man drives train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving, and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder. So, he's on death row and the executioner approaches him.

"What would you like for your last meal?"

"I would like a banana please."

The executioner thinks it's weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits awhile, and gets strapped into the electric chair. When the flip the switch, nothing happens! In Bulgaria, an act of divine intervention means you get released.

A few months go by, and the train driver has been working for a new company. Well, old habits die hard, and he falls asleep again, killing 2 people this time. The court has no patience for recklessness, so he ends up on death row again. After awhile, the same executioner from last time approaches him.

"You again? Shit. What do you want this time?"

"Two bananas please."

The executioner shrugs and hands him two bananas. A bit weird, but whatever. There's no way he can cheat death twice! But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again. The train driver walks a second time.

Some time passes, and the executioner is very busy. After another few months, the same dude shows up, apparently having run over 3 people with a train. Exacberated, the executioner approaches him for the third time.

"Let me guess. Three bananas?"

"Actually yes! How did you know?"

"Top bad! This has gone on long enough. No more bananas! Today you fry."

So, the train driver gets strapped into the chair with no last meal. But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again.

"I dont get it," says the executioner. "I didnt let you eat any bananas!"

"Its not the bananas. I'm a bad conductor."

Edit: Thanks for the Gold stranger! Edit: And Silver!

He was given two consecutive sentences.

If found guilty he'll be given a real tough sentence

The dot "."

It has ended more sentences than anything else.

Figured the collection was getting a bit too big so why not

credit to the r/TwoSentenceHorror subreddit

A compound sentence

Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.

Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.

I put an instrument at the start of this sentence.

He didn't even finish his sentence

Its a shame that he won’t finish his sentence

Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

I hear they are gonna give him a really tough sentence.

We finish each other's sentences.

I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.

It’s a sentence.

I hear they are going to give a really tough sentence.

...they say he will be given a tough sentence

... it's a sentence

He said: "You know how we finish each other's sentences?"