(Request) Need title for school assignment

Hello there,

I am doing a science project on cleaning products and I need a catchy title, so I figured I would go with a pun. The problem is, I can't think of one! If you guys could help me think of a one-liner pun involving somethng cleaning related, I would be very grateful!

Thanks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rcjuneau
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2013
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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The best of the best.

What are your best one or two liner puns?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aburnedpotato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2014
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Dad jokes that you overuse in public that infuriate your partner?

So my partner probably wants to stab me more than i think. Almost every time she ask is me to β€œput the kettle on” I respond β€œI can’t, it won’t fit” or if we’re shopping and I’m asked β€œdo you need a bag” I point at her and say β€œit’s fine I brought my own” there are others, but they currently evade my 2am brain.

I feel I need some new ones to keep her on her toes and what better place than this sanctum of one liners (except for this post, for which I apologise).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/batchyyyyy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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My dad's best joke

"Ain't those lumpy farts the shits?"

This is my favorite joke my dad told me. He passed away 11 years ago. When we were cleaning out his stuff, I found a blank book where he had written a bunch of dumb one-liners and favorite quotes. I photocopied them, cut them apart, and gave my sisters each an envelope full of dad's wisdom. I wish I could have seen their faces when they pulled this one out!

My sister gave me one of his old cowboy hats this week, so I've been wearing it a lot and thinking of him. Hope y'all got a chuckle out of this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juevolitos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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True story: My girlfriend just asked me if I knew any good jokes about physicists (my profession). I said yes, but they were all about physicists' dating lives.

So they're pretty much all one-liners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HunterSwan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Ever hear the joke about the monorail?

It's a one-liner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomd0g
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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Visiting my parents for the first time since COVID. He has taken up cropdusting people and proclaiming, "Surprise health check." To make sure you can smell and/or taste still.

Sorry not a witty one-liner but peak of dad humor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Infuuri
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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I love jokes about monorails.

Those are my favourite one liners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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What is the best kind of joke to tell on a cruise ship?

A one liner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Why does everyone quote Ben Kenobi?

Because he has great Wan liners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vector_Dozal_47
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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Why did the cyclops get booed off stage?

She used bad one-eye liners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/celeriss
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2016
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Regarding the diets of dairy cows.

I grew up in Vermont. Around my town were plenty of dairy farms, inviting the always wonderful manure aroma. An aroma that nearly forced my father to inhale deeply through his nose, saying, "Ah, fresh Vermont air!"

That's an excellent Dad one liner, as are most dad jokes, but he had another great one that I'm getting to.

You see, the hay bails we saw growing up in Vermont were mostly the cube variety. Hay bailing technology at the time created cubes of hay, so that's what dotted the fields they'd graze in.

As we grew older, we starting noticing the now more common round bails of hay. Dad was not pleased.

I asked him what the problem was or, at least, what his problem was with the round bails. The best jokes are set up when you ask for them.

So, he tells me. New farming technology allowed the round bails to be created more efficiently. They used less fuel in the bailers, took less passes on the field to gather the hay. They used less twine, and even though they didn't fill a truck as well as square bails, there was still a net monetary gain from the efficiency gained elsewhere.

However, studies were done on the bails. The cows approached them differently due to the different alignment of surface area. The way the rain hit the bails and rolled off as opposed to soaking in leached nutrients out of the hay. Some cows even mistook the shape of bail for another animal, and approached them so nervously that their heart rates were known to raise significantly; such a rate that a tinge of acidity could be tasted by those in the know in their milk.

What all of this amounted to... is that with the new round bails of hay, the cows just weren't getting a good square meal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/estomasi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2013
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/r/DadJokes for the lazy - A video with some of the best one-liner dad jokes submitted in 2016

https://youtu.be/15JgRNjVM8E

After browsing through some of the past year's posts, I decided to make this video capturing some of the best of what was posted here! All one-liners that translate well do video. Hope you enjoy the recap of the year!

If people like this, I may start making a series of some of the top subs posts as "Reddit for the Lazy" videos, a tl;dr of the top posts, in a single-click video!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1banana2split
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2016
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Did you hear about the comedian who started investing in ships?

He bought one liner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jon-Osterman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2017
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[rule changes and minor update on spam filter]

First and foremost, I've decided to add a rule 7. Please, for the love of God, have the slightest bit of creativity and do not put the punchline of the joke in the title. The reasoning being as follows.

Most importantly, putting the punchline in the title ruins the joke, unless it is a one liner!
*
Secondarily, this is a puns subreddit dedicated to wordplay, if you lack the creativity to restate something in a humorous way rather than regurgitating the punchline as the header, perhaps this isn't the subreddit for you...


#Secondarily,


I've made a few minor spam filter tweaks. Your post will be caught in the spam filter if:

  1. Your account has less than +3 combined comment and link karma.
  2. Your account is less than 7 days old.

What will happen if your post is filtered is it will automatically go into the spam queue, and I'll try to have it unfiltered in the span of a couple of minutes/hours, but sometimes I do sleep so sadly it may take longer.

My post isn't appearing! How do I fix it?

If your post is not appearing and it has not violated any of the rules, feel free to drop us a mod message and I'll get a mobile notification within 30 minutes or so of the post removal, putting it on the fast track to being restored.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KetoSaiba
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2016
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Where there's a will...

...I wanna be in it

One of my old man's favorite one-liners

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jollyman21
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
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My wife and I recently went to a comedy club...

... The club was packed as an egg was doing some stand up comedy. After the laughter died down from a particularly hilarious one-liner, I leaned over to my wife and said "that's a funny yolk".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/istandalonetoo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2017
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Dads take on vegetable based rock bands

This is an older story, I think it was roughly 98 or 99. My little brother was getting into rock and was listening to Limp Biskit and Korn. He saved up some money to get a CD so my dad took him to Sam Goody. My little brother gets the newest hit record by Korn and brings it to the counter and check out. With my dad by his side, he places the record on the counter and the late nineties rocker chick, loaded up with tons of eye liner and hot topic wear working the cash register says "oh yeah! I love Korn, I know everything about them, I have all their records." Without a fucking second thought and the straightest face, my dad says "I guess that makes you a little corny."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LDdesign
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2015
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I'm not even a dad...

My favorite one liner that gets the girlfriend every single time.

Her: Hey Roger420 will you call my phone.

Me: Roger420s Girlfriends phone!!!! Roger420s Girlfriends phone!!!! Where are you phone?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roger420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2015
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My dad has two jokes that he tells everyone...

First joke:

What's the fastest car in Italy? A fazool.......BECAUSE NOBODY EVER PASTA FAZOOL.

Second joke (more of a one-liner):

Without nipples, boobs would be pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vTeej
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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I haven't slept for ten days...

"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long." - Mitch Hedberg

I don't know if Mitch was a father, but some of his famous one-liners would make any dad proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/humpier
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
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One of many from my dad

My father and I talking about something:

Me: You should feel ashamed of yourself!

Dad: (Waits for 10 seconds) I'm done (feeling ashamed of myself).

He has alot of one-liners that he uses multiple times and laughs every time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arnstor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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