Why is everyone so tired on April 1?

Because they just finished a March of 31 days.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 70
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ProfessorPeterPlum
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 01 2017
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February March?

No, but April May

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 25
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/_ivy_ally
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 20
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/communist_scumbag
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why don't lobsters ever share?

Because they're shell-fish. First child due in April!๐Ÿ˜ƒ

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Timsketchy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Wife: I'm pregnant and you're the father!

Me: Seriously!?

Wife: It's a prank! Happy April Fools!

Me: You mean you're not pregnant?

Wife: No, I mean you're not the father.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sarcasticpremed
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My son is a man trapped in a woman's body.

He'll be born in April

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 164
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I know a man whose last name is Storm

He has three daughters:

Summer, April, and Haley.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ncsuandrew12
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have ?

I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
It is April 2nd

I now wash my hands of all COVID-19-related April Fool's jokes.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/EmpireStrikes1st
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
March is Cancelled

This is the ultimate April Fools' joke.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Wernershnitzl
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Whatโ€™s the name of Mr. Tโ€™s girlfriend?

April, fools

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 16
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/NYC_Punisher
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What do you call a hammer bought in april 1st?

April tool

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/9874123456
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How many seconds are in a year?

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Decided to tell my parents some good news with a dad joke

"So, do you have to work on Labor Day this year?"

"No, we both have off."

"Did you hear they're changing it next year?"

"What?"

"Yeah, they're moving it to April."

Looks of confusion

"At least that's what my doctor said."

The dawning of comprehension on their faces, then big smiles and hugs!

..... Btw, I am a woman. I didn't specify in the post, but the context clue would be "MY doctor." I was just raised on sarcasm and corny jokes.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bonnieisstillhot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 13 2016
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
That singer who is a month too

April Lavigne

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JVPMBR
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
April Fools

One April Fools eve, my wife went to bed early. Just shortly after 12:01am, I went in to bed. I noticed I woke her up and I immediately said, โ€œCan you make the kids lunch?โ€ She was so pissed at me and stormed out the bedroom only to find the kids lunch already made in the fridge! AAAAAppppprrrriiiilll FFFooooooolllllllllsss!!

Edit: Didnโ€™t get laid that night.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ThisDoodIce
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 22 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Ideas for months of the year puns?

Hi, could someone help me out with puns for the months of the year? January was Jan-new-ary, February was Feb-boo-ary, etc.

Just April would be great and if possible, the rest of the year

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CondolenceHighFive
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

show more
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/HornyBastard37484739
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February March?

No but April May

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/vamplestat666
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February March?

No, but April May.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 239
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/OtherwiseKnownAsSam
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February March?

No, but April May!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 90
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/A_SarcasticEditor
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 27 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February March ?

No but April May

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/moe87b
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 15 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Itโ€™s April 1st...

Happy April Fluโ€™s Day!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 27
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/dubaidadjokes
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 01 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I know a dad whose last name is Storm

He has three daughters:

Summer, April, and Haley.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ncsuandrew12
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My son asked me whether February could March.

I replied โ€œNo, but April may!โ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Fehlurian_
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February March?

No, but April May.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/habsfan1112
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I would say may luck be with you today but

it's still April

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/drdebica
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit โžก

show more
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 76
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Josvys
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February March?

No, but April May.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TheSketchiest
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I decided to stop telling dad jokes...

...Happy april fools day!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/space0watch
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 01 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Too bad I donโ€™t have an April fools joke

APRIL FOOLS!!!!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/lordofcin_2
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 01 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 31
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 31 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
If january threw a parade would february march?

no but april may!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/invertedparadoxxx
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How many seconds are in a year?

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 25
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 10 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How many seconds are in a year?

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 18 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How many seconds are in a year?

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 05 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February march?

No, but April may.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February March?

No, but April May

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RayInRed
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 05 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February march?

No, but April may

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 16
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/woodisis
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can February March?

Can February March? No, but April May.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 51
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CJRedbeard
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My friend April is very playful, April laughs, April plays, and, of course,

April fools

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thesmellofthenumberq
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

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