I studied my taxes for a way to stick it to those crooks at the IRS. I decided to replace every 9 with an 8, every 7 with a 6, every 5 with a 4, every 3 with a 2, and every 1 with a 0. It’s not cheating.

It’s just a way to even the odds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masselein
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2023
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I hate most numbers. The number 2 is definitely second rate, and 3 looks like fish lips. Don’t even get me started on the numbers 4 through 9. 0 means nothing to me.

Should I feel bad for hating so many numbers? Nah. God just wants us to love everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuddenSasquatch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2021
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took me a *minute*
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2022
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Such a shampoo pun!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoShitToGive
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2023
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What has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange?

Nothing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wulfpack94
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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Nah, she was born a red head
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riccochetaround
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2022
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This could spell disaster.
πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HypnotizeD_X
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2022
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whey better
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notreallyhaarsh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2022
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I have finale cracked the most difficult problem. I now know all the digits of pi.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abybaddi009
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Every time...

0:00 0:01 0:02 0:03 0:04 0:05 0:06 0:07 0:08 0:09 0:10 0:11 0:12 0:13 0:14 0:15 0:16 0:17 0:18 0:19 0:20 0:21 0:22 0:23 0:24 0:25 0:26 0:27 0:28 0:29 0:30 0:31 0:32 0:33 0:34 0:35 0:36 0:37 0:38 0:39 0:40 0:41 0:42 0:43 0:44 0:45 0:46 0:47 0:48 0:49 0:50 0:51 0:52 0:53 0:54 0:55 0:56 0:57 0:58 0:59 1:00 1:01 1:02 1:03 1:04 1:05 1:06 1:07 1:08 1:09 1:10 1:11 1:12 1:13 1:14 1:15 1:16 1:17 1:18 1:19 1:20 1:21 1:22 1:23 1:24 1:25 1:26 1:27 1:28 1:29 1:30 1:31 1:32 1:33 1:34 1:35 1:36 1:37 1:38 1:39 1:40 1:41 1:42 1:43 1:44 1:45 1:46 1:47 1:48 1:49 1:50 1:51 1:52 1:53 1:54 1:55 1:56 1:57 1:58 1:59 2:00 2:01 2:02 2:03 2:04 2:05 2:06 2:07 2:08 2:09 2:10 2:11 2:12 2:13 2:14 2:15 2:16 2:17 2:18 2:19 2:20 2:21 2:22 2:23 2:24 2:25 2:26 2:27 2:28 2:29 2:30 2:31 2:32 2:33 2:34 2:35 2:36 2:37 2:38 2:39 2:40 2:41 2:42 2:43 2:44 2:45 2:46 2:47 2:48 2:49 2:50 2:51 2:52 2:53 2:54 2:55 2:56 2:57 2:58 2:59 3:00 3:01 3:02 3:03 3:04 3:05 3:06 3:07 3:08 3:09 3:10 3:11 3:12 3:13 3:14 3:15 3:16 3:17 3:18 3:19 3:20 3:21 3:22 3:23 3:24 3:25 3:26 3:27 3:28 3:29 3:30 3:31 3:32 3:33 3:34 3:35 3:36 3:37 3:38 3:39 3:40 3:41 3:42 3:43 3:44 3:45 3:46 3:47 3:48 3:49 3:50 3:51 3:52 3:53 3:54 3:55 3:56 3:57 3:58 3:59 4:00 4:01 4:02 4:03 4:04 4:05 4:06 4:07 4:08 4:09 4:10 4:11 4:12 4:13 4:14 4:15 4:16 4:17 4:18 4:19 4:20 4:21 4:22 4:23 4:24 4:25 4:26 4:27 4:28 4:29 4:30 4:31 4:32 4:33 4:34 4:35 4:36 4:37 4:38 4:39 4:40 4:41 4:42 4:43 4:44 4:45 4:46 4:47 4:48 4:49 4:50 4:51 4:52 4:53 4:54 4:55 4:56 4:57 4:58 4:59 5:00 5:01 5:02 5:03 5:04 5:05 5:06 5:07 5:08 5:09 5:10 5:11 5:12 5:13 5:14 5:15 5:16 5:17 5:18 5:19 5:20 5:21 5:22 5:23 5:24 5:25 5:26 5:27 5:28 5:29 5:30 5:31 5:32 5:33 5:34 5:35 5:36 5:37 5:38 5:39 5:40 5:41 5:42 5:43 5:44 5:45 5:46 5:47 5:48 5:49 5:50 5:51 5:52 5:53 5:54 5:55 5:56 5:57 5:58 5:59 6:00 6:01 6:02 6:03 6:04 6:05 6:06 6:07 6:08 6:09 6:10 6:11 6:12 6:13 6:14 6:15 6:16 6:17 6:18 6:19 6:20 6:21 6:22 6:23 6:24 6:25 6:26 6:27 6:28 6:29 6:30 6:31 6:32 6:33 6:34 6:35 6:36 6:37 6:38 6:39 6:40 6:41 6:42 6:43 6:44 6:45 6:46 6:47 6:48 6:49 6:50 6:51 6:52 6:53 6:54 6:55 6:56 6:57 6:58 6:59 7:00 7:01 7:02 7:03 7:04 7:05 7:06 7:07 7:08 7:09 7:10 7:11 7:12 7:13 7:14 7:15 7:16 7:17 7:18 7:19 7:20 7:21 7:22 7:23 7:24 7:25 7:26 7:27 7:28 7:29 7:30 7:31 7:32 7:33 7:34 7:35 7:36 7:37 7:38 7:39 7:40 7:41 7:42 7:43 7:44 7:45 7:46 7:47 7:48 7:49 7:50 7:51 7:52 7:53 7:54 7:55 7:56 7:57 7:58 7:59 8:00 8:01 8:02 8:03 8:04 8:05 8:06 8:07 8:08 8:09 8:10 8:11 8:12 8:13 8:14 8:15 8:16 8:17 8:18 8:19

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 857
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scott_MacGregor
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2015
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Math?

(12 + 144 + 20 + 3√4)/7 + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0

Well measured.

>!The expression evaluates true, but it also forms a limmerick when read out loud (click it to read a spoken version).!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barwhack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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5 Cringey Puns

(Sorry For Not Posting, I Was Busy)

  1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

  2. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

  3. Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

  4. I didn't use to care much for most puns but over time some of them have groan on me.

  5. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

(Source For All Puns: https://www.punoftheday.com/cgi-bin/disppuns.pl?ord=F&cat=0&sub=0&page=1)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punsdaily
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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The Cheerio Joke

Oh boy do I have a joke for you kids! Its called the cheerio joke.


So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes homeless, living out on the street, probaly an alchoholic. But he falls in love with a frosted cheerio princess. So one day he sneaks into the royal gala and goes up to the princess and asks her "will you marry me?" Now she says "I like your style, youre a good looking guy, a bit scruffy but I like you. Tell you what I will marry you if you can become a frosted cheerio" So our guy goes back with a determination and gets a job and starts to pay off his debts. Now by having a job and his debts paid he becomes a level 1 cheerio. So he works, and he works, and he works, and he WORKS and he finally becomes a level 2 cheerio. Now he goes back to the princess and askes her again, "will you marry me?" she says "no honey you really do have to become a frosted cheerio first." So he goes back and he works and works, hes a fryboy at McGrubers or something, I dont care. So he works and he works and he gets promoted at the restraunt and is making more money. And he works and he works and he works and by having that income raise he finally becomes a level 3 cheerio. He feels sucessful for the first time in his life but he is starting to fall back on his old ways. One day he goes to the casino and he loses and he loses and he loses and he gambled all his money away and he gets fired to boot because gambling is against company policy. So he is back down to a level 1 cheerio. He gets a job on a production line at a nearby factory and determines himself not to fall back ever again. So he works and he works and he works and he works and he WORKS, level 2, level 3, and he is doing great again. He is promoted to Floor manager of the factory and he is doing great and becomes a level 4 cheerio. But then one day a rival company sabotages their operation by putting poison in their toothpaste or whatever the hell they were making. They have to pay out damages and PR and the like and they declare bankruptcy. He is knocked back down to level 2 for the lack in income. But he is hired almost straight away by a branch of a huge conglomerate because they recognized how hard of a worker he is. So he works, level 3, works, level 4, and he works and works and WORKS. So he is promoted t

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t17389z
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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Pi day dad joked at work

My co worker asked me how many digits I can name in pi. I responded well I can name all the digits in pi, 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, and 9 they are all in there somewhere!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCfan6
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2015
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I can list every single number that's in Pi.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 0.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OvertCinnamon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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No one: Literally No one:

0 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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No one:

0, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShockwaveMike
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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No one:

0, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SudoUsername
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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No one:

Literally no one:

0 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DabtillDeath
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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No one:

Numbers: 0 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlatantHippocrite
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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