Olive Bar Pun
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︎ Sep 19 2018
A blind man walks into a bar
And then a table...
And then a chair...
π︎ 6k
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︎ Feb 10 2021
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.
They both have a great time.
π︎ 12k
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Two Deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says
βI canβt believe I blew 40 bucks in thereβ
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︎ Feb 02 2021
What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?
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︎ Feb 07 2021
Yesterday I changed a lightbulb, crossed a road, and walked into a bar.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.
He orders a drink, and asks for the check.
Duck billed platypus.
Edit: Thanks guys.
π︎ 11k
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︎ Nov 07 2020
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
π︎ 9k
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︎ Nov 11 2020
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says
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︎ Feb 15 2021
An anteater walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Can I get you a drink?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" "How about something to eat?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" "What about some peanuts?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Frazzled, the bartender cries, "What's with the long no's!?"
π︎ 2k
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︎ Dec 17 2020
A midget stumbles out of the bar...
π︎ 2k
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︎ Dec 07 2020
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
π︎ 174
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︎ Jan 14 2021
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face...
The horse not being able to comprehend the language shits on the floor and leaves
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︎ Feb 10 2021
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer
The bartender says we don't serve food here
π︎ 13k
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︎ Oct 08 2020
What do you call a chicken who works at a bar?
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︎ Feb 11 2021
A length of rope walks into a bar and orders two shots...
the bartender kicks him out on the daily making it known that they donβt serve ropes in his bar. One day he decides that he may have better luck with a disguise, so he ties himself up in a good tangle and frantically pulls all the fibers apart at both of his cut ends. He walks back into the bar and orders two shots. The bartender says to him, β Hey...arenβt you that rope I kicked out of here yesterday?β. The rope looks at him confused and says, β No, Iβm a frayed knotβ.
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︎ Feb 05 2021
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
π︎ 28
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︎ Jan 24 2021
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says "What is this, some kind of joke?"
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︎ Feb 10 2021
A Tibetan bull walks into a bar, hoping to pull off a swindle.
The bartender looks at him and says, βYou must be here for a cognac.β
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︎ Feb 10 2021
A snake walked into a bar
And the bartender said
"Wow how did you do that?"
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︎ Feb 10 2021
A median and a mode walk into a bar.
The bartender says, βIβm glad you ditched your friend. Heβs mean.β
π︎ 163
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︎ Jan 11 2021
A priest, an Arab and a rabbit walk into a bar
The rabbit says βI think there is a typoβ
π︎ 23
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︎ Jan 26 2021
I met my wife at a singles bar...
Which was really strange, since I'd thought that I had left her at home looking after the kids.
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︎ Dec 03 2020
A Pastor, a Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar...
π︎ 107
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Two bees are drinking at a bar, a couple aproaches them, one of the bees says "Get away, you scumbags!" The other says:
"I'm sorry for what my friend said, I would like to a-pollen-gise"
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?
So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian
π︎ 1k
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︎ Nov 16 2020
It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house...
The difference is staggering
π︎ 20k
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar
Get out of here! Shouts the bartender. We don't serve your type here.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
A perfectionist walks into a bar....
Apparently, the bar wasn't set high enough.
π︎ 23
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︎ Feb 08 2021
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, βA beer please, ..."
"... and one for the road."
π︎ 13k
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︎ Sep 15 2020
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by RenΓ© Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
π︎ 11k
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︎ Sep 05 2020
3 blind men walk into a bar.
They say, "Ow," because they walked into a bar.
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︎ Feb 12 2021
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gases"
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Three prospectors walk into a bar.
Barkeep: I'm sorry, but we don't serve miners here.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
A bartender walks into a bar
Heβs shift starts soon.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
My friend was worried about hitting all the bars on his guitar neck at his recital...
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Space-Bar
π︎ 61
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︎ Dec 31 2020
A pun walked into a bar and ten people died on the spot.
π︎ 142
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︎ Dec 23 2020
A horse walks into a bar
And gets kicked out, horses can't be in bars.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Todayβs temperature, in Minnesota, walked into a bar
Bartender looked at it and said, βwhy do you have to be so negative!β
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︎ Feb 12 2021
A Neutron went to a bar
When he went to pay for his drinks, the bartender said 'no charge'
π︎ 16
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︎ Jan 29 2021
A physics textbook walks into a bar...
A physics textbook book walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of whiskey. The bartender looks up and says, βSure pal, it looks like you have a lot of problems.β
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︎ Jan 23 2021
A guy walks into a bar and is surprised to see his family doctor there
A guy walks into a bar and is surprised to see his family doctor there, so he walks over to join him. "What a coincidence!" the guy says. "I was just saying earlier today that I really needed a doctor's appointment." The doctor pulls up his calendar on his phone and says, "Well, how about 10 tomorrow?" "No," the guy replies. "I don't need that many."
π︎ 80
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︎ Jan 16 2021
What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?
π︎ 73
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
π︎ 89
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︎ Jan 29 2021
What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?
π︎ 23
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︎ Feb 07 2021
A dung beetle walks into a bar...
π︎ 32
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︎ Jan 30 2021
A dung beetle walks into the bar
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 31 2021
A man walks into a bar...
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︎ Feb 10 2021
Guy walks into a bar
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︎ Jan 10 2021
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