The nurse at the sperm bank asked if I wanted to masturbate in the cup

I replied: I know I am pretty good, but I don’t think I’m ready to compete just yet

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JayCola93
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because you wear the wrong sock this morning

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puzzAndpuff
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank ?

Just phone them up and say, "I can't cum. "

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the king sperm that was good at maths?

His name was Sir Cumference

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a worker at the Irish sperm bank say after you are finished?

Tanks fo' nut'in

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Matjesfiletmayo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What is written by the exit to the sperm bank?

Thanks for coming!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Negalugh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
A man in Yorkshire, England forgot about his appointment at the sperm bank.

When he finally arrived, the person at the desk told him, β€œEjaculate”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, Carpenter, and Julius Caesar walked into a bar

... He came, he saw, he conquered

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a sperm bank

The doctor says "would you get a load of this guy?"

πŸ‘︎ 194
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baconlover09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that a single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information? Meaning that, during 3 seconds long ejaculation, more than 11,250 TERA bytes of information is transmitted.

That's alot of information to swallow.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
You know how only the strongest sperm gets to fertilise the egg?

I guess you could call it survival of the fetus.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RespectfulRat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the sperm donor say when he had to cancel his appointment?

– I can’t come.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/taroqi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do the X-men call their sperm?

The C-men

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jaimegon123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call sperm from a cheating soldier?

Dishonorable discharge.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/New-Kekistan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a receptionist at a sperm bank say as the client is leaving?

Thanks for cuming and cum again.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the sperm bank today

Cause every time someone walked in I'd say "get a load of this guy"

πŸ‘︎ 204
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBadBulldog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
(Beatles) Come together, sperm and egg..

O-vary

I dont even know if this make sense, I should have been asleepp 4 hours ago

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NewOrleansNinja
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A whale is masturbating. His sperm shoots out and thanks him.

He replies " You're whale cum!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poogart
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Sperm is amazing

sperm can go from swimming to disappointing just in some years

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clumsy-_-Phoenix
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the sign say at the exit of the sperm bank?

"Thank you for cumming"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thom581K
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Sperm jokes
πŸ‘︎ 296
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lawyer_Morty04
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

Apparently you’re not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say β€œget a load of this guy” every time someone walks in.

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kmarkie_mark
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I applied to be a sperm donor recently and the nurse asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.

I told her I’ve done it a few times before but I don’t know if I’m ready to compete in a tournament.

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rurgtide
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I just created a word for sharing Sperm.

Cummunism.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SergeantPotatoes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Sperm bank
πŸ‘︎ 128
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBrontosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the sperm bank

They said I can't drink on the job

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Her: Why have you been drawing pictures of sperm all day?

Me: Because sex cells.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PickleFart69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the sperm say to the egg?

Nice to gamet you.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Who decided to name it a β€˜sperm whale’

A group of seamen

πŸ‘︎ 120
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MalonesCones
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I can’t be the only one thinking this... it must take a real set of balls to become a sperm donor
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sxbih
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do sperm play football?

In a con-dome...

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lifelonglifter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
One sperm asks the other "How long till we get to the ovaries?"

The other sperm replies "A while, we've only just passed the tonsils"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong socks this morning.

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What does it say on the exit door to the sperm bank?

Thanks for coming......

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_I-Have-A-Plan_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road?

I put the wrong socks on this morning

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/takuache_beaner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
A sperm, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar

He came, he saw, he conquered

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Brootalz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a sperm bank.

The doctor says, "Would you get a load of this guy?"

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road today?

Because I wore the wrong Socks on...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Waizun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Guy walks into a sperm bank

Doctor says "will you get a load of this guy?"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuellinIt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong sock this morning...

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/h_cordeiro8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank?

Just ring up and say you can't cum!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a lumberjack, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Ceasar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 218
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a Carpenter and Julius Caesar walk into a bar

He came, He saw and He conquered

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because i decided to wear the wrong pair of socks

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andydelbourgo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report

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