Dad: "Knock, Knock" Kid: *sigh* "Who's there?"

Dad: "What?!?? You don't even recognize your own father??"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/detrickster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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*sighs* You know what melancholy flowers make me think of?

Melons and cauliflowers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djam109
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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*sigh*
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicboosmen23
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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Husband told me he'd gotten me a 14-carat diamond. Sigh.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pargsnip
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
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Sigh he had us in the title /r/AskMen/comments/6kfzpq…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Getete
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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At the end of the work day coworker sighs loudly and says: How did we get here?

Me: I don’t know about you, but I drove to work.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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The other options for the Bridge of Sighs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmethystMonkey
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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sigh........
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxsaucemonsterxx
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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sigh
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra_meme101
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
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Sigh..
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dalerz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Sigh
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iammedoc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Sigh.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RavenLabratories
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...

Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.

The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.

Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, β€œDarling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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Me: So would you say this is a cup...cake? Wife: Sighs and walks away

https://preview.redd.it/8ppw52plovi21.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dca9d9190f206d5164191b6da515bbb67772c7ba

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exekiel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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Sigh, Eric.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Serk245
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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Wife: [sighs] "Where does the time go?"

Husband: "Usually in the spice rack."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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Rocky Mountain Sigh

My wife and I are chatting about where to go on vacation.

Wife: You know, I really would love to see Aspen, Colorado. It looks beautiful. Me: Aspen you shall receive. Wife: ... You're a horrible person.

πŸ‘︎ 206
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spoonhocket
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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So i was talking to my dad about guardians of the galaxy and when i mentioned Chris Pratt my dad sighs and says...

I dont know how parents can be mean enough to name their child after a fried rodent.. and i just sat there looking at him confused until he whispered...... "crisp rat"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordDobbington
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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πŸ‘︎ 535
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πŸ‘€︎ u/STU-RAT
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2013
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It took me a second, then I just gave that typical post-dad-joke sigh...

My dad: So there's this family of moles, who live underground of course. The mother mole comes out of their hole and says, "Oh, it smells like syrup out here." Then the father mole comes out behind her and says, "I think it smells like honey." Then their son comes out behind both of them, but he couldn't fit out of the hole, and he says, "Well to me it smells like molasses!"

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
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πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garyphuckingoak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2014
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Sigh on or scion imgur.com/ZV3S3e0
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Felixtheplatypus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
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Got a defetead sigh from my son and a nod of approval from a fellow dad.

Was waiting in line at the consession stands to buy popcorn and a drink.

Me, "What do you want son?"
Son, "Can I get a large popcorn and an raspberry Icee?"
Me in a very contemplative tone, "You want an Icee, hmm, I see"

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deathlui
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2015
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Heard this conversation outside my room... sigh

Dad: Hey (OP's sister), do fetuses ever get fevers?

Sister: ... What? Why?

Dad: Because I think they're always at WOMB TEMPERATURE!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squisheefishee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
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Thought of this myself *sigh*

Q: what's a zombies favorite weather?

A: a brainstorm !

I guess I can add that to my list

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/X_HEROBRINE_X
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2015
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I never had to laugh and sigh at the same time...

A friend told me, that she almost started crying, because she didnt hear from me. To this I answered, that crying is no solution.

A few moments later she replies: "Yes it is. Tears consist of water and salt."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SprehdTehWerdEDM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2016
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Accidentally dad joked myself to my wife. Didn't even notice. My wife is more dad than I am. *sigh*

So I was making a pot of loose leaf tea, and I see a dry clean-looking spoon on the counter by the tea, so I ask my wife "Is this a tea spoon?"

Then she (rudely, I might add) glared at me and said "yes." in a flat monotone.

I looked at her, confused and offended, so she said "It's a teaspoon."

I wish I could say I got it then, but she had to clarify further: "No, it's an actual teaspoon, and yes you can use it for the tea."

...

Anyway, how does it work at this point? Should I be the one to tell our daughter that her mom is her new dad now, or does that need to come from my wife?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blindsight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
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πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marothgar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2013
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I swear I heard my mom sigh from the other room...

I was taking my cat's litterbox downstairs to change it, when I passed by my dad...

Dad: Oh, are you going back [to college] tonight?

Me: No....?

Dad: Oh. Well you have all your shit with you.

Really, dad.....

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabby367
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2013
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Finally made my dad sigh

Dad (doing a crossword puzzle): What is a music note with four sharps?

Me: I don't know, but I bet it ain't flat and dull!

My dad just stared at his paper and sighed.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flamingfluffyguns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2015
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*sigh* Oh dad

My brother: You have bags under your eyes. Me: Huh? turns to dad Do I have bags under my eyes? Dad: Paper or plastic?

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altessa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2014
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Got an exasperated sigh from my boyfriend at dinner

Boyfriend serves dinner, a delicious salad. Him: Ok, let us eat! Me: No, this is arugula. He gave me the side eye and shook his head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mangolover
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2015
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When telling one of these jokes, hope they reply with a sigh... xkcd.com/1009/
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bhayward2000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2013
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Sigh.

Whenever my Dad hears the song "Feliz Navidad" he sings "Feliz Navi DAD".

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ucanify
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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Everyone in the car just stopped talking to look at me and sigh. It was glorious.

I just got back in town for the holidays and my family was taking my grandmother to her birthday party. As we were getting in the car my dad asks my grandma, who was in the back seat directly behind him, if she had enough leg room.

Grandma: "Oh, I've got more than enough room. There's a foot between us!"

Me: "That's strange, I'm pretty sure there should be two feet between you..."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoonRazer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
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IT DOESN'T, MAKE- (sigh) never mind.

As a kid, I can remember having petty fights with my brothers about something stupid (like about finishing the last reese puffs) Anyway, one time while arguing my brother yelled, "THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"

My dad somehow walked into the perfect moment to say, "It makes 10 cents."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingcroak
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2013
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