A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, β€œNO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack responded, β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/articElite0
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Sharpening the dadjoke knife here lately...

My 4y/o is watching a cartoon whereby there are some asteroids and meteors & says, β€œOh my goodness gracious! Daddy! A meteor shower!!”

To which I responded, β€œMeatier than what? Campbell’s Chunky Soup?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pandastrong35
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I don't understand why people bother sharpening their pencils.

There's no point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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My dad tells humorous jokes while sharpening the knives...

He is very whet-y.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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I went to the pencil sharpening store today

I got some great shavings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trevor_Nolan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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My skills at sharpening my knives are atrophying...

I really need to hone them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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I was sharpening my hatchet...

...and my wife asked, "hows your knife sharpening going?"

"I think I made my point," I replied.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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Knife sharpening has always been and will always be cutting-edge technology.
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
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Raising a puppy is sharpening my skills...

[Mom, dad, SO, I eating Chinese food before Billy Joel concert]

[Finishing up, dad notices bunch of fortune cookies left in the box to be thrown out]

Dad: "You gonna throw all these away?"

Mom: "...are you gonna eat all of them?"

Me: "No reason to throw them out, they're worth a fortune.........."

.......It sounded much better before I typed it all out, I hope it comes across as good as it did that night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thenatureboy_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2016
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So dad took a knife sharpening class...

When he got home I asked him what he thought of the session. He says "the material was incredibly dull, and there was no point in the end."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barthm1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2015
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My friend bought a microscopically precise pencil sharpener.

I don’t see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PulkPush
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Why should you bring a pencil sharpener to every class?

So you always get the point!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MakeMeADonut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I have a hard time listening to people explain how to sharpen knives.

It’s very dull at the beginning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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There's a sale on pre-sharpened pencils

Can you imagine all of the shavings?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImClumZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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What do you call a pencil that is never sharpened?

Pointless

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πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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What did the pencil say when someone tried to sharpen it?

What's the point?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NelAraby4
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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Sometimes I sharpen pencils

Just to make a point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciaran211
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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My fiancΓ©e asked if I could sharpen her pencil. After the pencil had been sharpened, I continued to sharpen. She said β€œokay that’s enough!”

I said β€œI was just trying to make a point”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PixelSniper17
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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What do you call sharpened meat

a steak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_septic_coder
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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I sharpened my pencil
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πŸ‘€︎ u/20plus40plus9
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Whenever my friends want to sharpen their pencils I always argue they should let me do it..

When they see the pencil they tell me I make a good point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FilthySef
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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I had a great joke so I went to sharpen my pencil.................................... but then

I lost the point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldermillenial
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Whenever I try to sharpen this pencil it breaks!

What's the point?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wrneda02
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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I don’t know why people sharpen their dull pencils.

I just don’t see the point in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/axxolot
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Where did the ruler and sharpener go to on their honeymoon?

Pennsylvania

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lordlewis6
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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[REQUEST] I'll get straight to the point, I need a knife pun

As the title says, I need a pun that involves two unlikely friends. Knives and Charity/donations.

Any help would be appreciated!

Knife to be here in this community

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oliverpls599
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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Hungry: Hey Dad, can I borrow a sharpener?

Dad: What do you need it for, Hungry?

Hungry holds up a broken pencil

Dad: Well, I don't see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zatosu_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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Why shouldn't you sharpen a blunt knife?

There's just no point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pigsquidder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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A sharp pencil said to the eraser "people sharpen pencils so they can use them a long time."

The eraser replied "you have a point."

-As told to me by seven-year-old Gibson M. L.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ucom1
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
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My grandpa always refused to sharpen his pencils...

...when I asked him why he said because of his age he didn't really see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigRobWall
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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Did you hear about the guy selling broken pencil sharpeners?

A lot of people thought it was great, but I didn't see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IntactBurrito
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2016
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I am the master pun creator
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MickeyMoose555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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Pencils

A not sharpened pencil is pretty pointless

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattyNJ31
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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Why don't pencils win races?

Because they're stationary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matt1617
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
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Used a dad joke on my dad

He was sharpening a pencil with his pocket knife but kept cutting the end off. "Dad if you keep this up its just going to be pointless."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tonsofpunsarefun
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
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Why did they make Moana?

Because Disney made Frozen about Elsa and then they thought, "We need mo' Anna."

Edit: Just a Dad on here trying to sharpen his punchlines.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T-RadDad49
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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I tried to make a joke about a pencil

But it broke, and now there's no point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gcode180
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2017
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Student said "Can I borrow a pencil?"

Me: "Sure, but you'll have to sharpen it."

Student: "Well, then there's no point."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckedAsBored
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2014
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My girlfriend just got me

She was sharpening a pencil with an exacto knife and I asked her why she didn't use a sharperner.

"Because its more exacto"

Sigh....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_brocode
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2016
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Super hero dad joke

How does Wolverine sharpen his claws?

X-Files

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lyonpride93
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2017
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I sharpen pencils to the point of lethality.
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πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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