Big rig races

Big rig trucks cane never make it to the finals, they can only make it to the semi-finals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nozerone
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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What type of gaming rig is the coolest?

Smart fridge πŸ”₯

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Casey_works
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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I have to cram for my big rig driving school test tomorrow...

It's my semi-final.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces.

He didn’t want to get in trouble s o he stopped his truck got out and started to pick up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. Then he began fitting the pieces together. In less than 10 minutes, he had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new. The toll manager came up to him, impressed and said, β€œWow you fixed that fast! What was that stuff you used to stick all the pieces together?”
β€œOh”, said the man, β€œjust a bit of Tollgate booth pasteβ€œ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
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(X-post /r/funny): Big rig carrying fruit crashes... imgur.com/hHfssOy
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2013
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Big rig carrying fruit crashes on 210 Freeway, creates jam articles.latimes.com/2013…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kitty_meowntain
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2014
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During a recent camping trip, my son rigged his drone to paddle his canoe for him. He called it the "DronePaddle3000".

I just call it a Rowbot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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On my yacht, I make one of the crew dress in cute costume to stand for the pole supporting the yards, booms, and rigging...

He's my mast-cot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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What does Trump call Viagra?

A rigged erection

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OriginalCDub
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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What do you call a buff Italian man named Anthony?

Rig-a-toni

(Thought of this a while ago while at the gym, had a chuckle)

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Sign...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordMcD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
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Traffic on 90 is nuts today
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lavenderived
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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It seems like the Final Fantasy VII remake will run quite efficiently.

It looks like most calculations will be done in the Cloud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PuzzledKitty
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2016
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Two truckers decided to have a competition to see who had the faster truck...

The race was rigged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Grandpa said this once

Grandpa: What should I get grandma for her birthday?

Me: A watch, can't go wrong with a watch.

Grandpa: Nah, there's a clock on the stove

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πŸ‘€︎ u/milkNcheetos
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2013
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How does the Italian mafia carry out a suicide bombing?

They rig a Tony...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brickbaterang
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Why did everyone think the pasta was a good stage actor?

Because he Rig-a Tony.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theinfinitejaguar
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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My Italian friend is starting a semi truck business.

He is calling it Rig a Tony.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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Driving with my family in a rural area...

...we stopped an an intersection. A big rig fully laden with hay bales approached from opposite direction. The driver made eye contact with me so I waved and yelled, "Hey!"

The kids tried to melt into their seats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NativeSonSF
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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At Mad Max last weekend...

The scene where Max is grabbed by the Pole Cat,

http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/mad-max-fury-road-image-the-war-rig.jpg

and ends up getting dumped onto the car with the drums and guitar guy

http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-620/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2015/3/31/1427821675682/5e25da37-61d7-44fd-a9a3-b2f5b8b5a791-620x372.jpeg

I leaned over to my GF and said "It looks like he's jumped onto... the bandwagon" She totally lost it :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/worldspawn00
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2015
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A fireman was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon, with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle...

The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and cat.

"That sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman said with admiration.

"Thanks!" the girl replied.

The fireman looked a little closer and noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

The fireman said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
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Japanese Olympic Track and field team [long]

the Japanese Olympic Track and field team, in typical Asian make-every-thing-harder-to-do-than-it-has-to-be fashion have announced that hey are sticking by their regimen of only using malformed, decade-and-a-half old, equipment rigged to pop out of the course unexpectedly in order to secure their hopes of Olympic glory. While this may seem counter intuitive, Kadauo Osakamizu, a analyst for the team claims there is actually a historic cultural precedent for the odd exercises. In a quote, Mr. Osakamizu insists that the idea is that "if the team can excel with such sub-par materials, executing wins when the equipment is good should be of little concern."

So it seems that at least for the foreseeable future, Japan will be pinning their hopes on Teenage, Mutant, Ninja Hurdles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheStaffmaster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
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