I regret nothing
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MissMatriarch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife, if there's anything she regrets in our marriage. Do you know what she said?

I do.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutteri100
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the robber regret stealing my oatmeal?

He got migraines

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the Greek God of regret ?

Apollogies.

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes

But that’s Heinz sight

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I regret going vegan

It was a big missed steak

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I have my regrets about today...

Even the cake is in tiers!

πŸ‘︎ 448
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elirox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I regret nothing :p
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tooladrake
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Decided to help my friend restring his guitar, I have no regrets
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dakuejji
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
If you regret your vote in 2016, don't worry about it

Hindsight is 2020

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iplaymeinreallife
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
When you ask google assistant for a pun and you instantly regret it
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shrimpydoodaa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I regret not staying up last night for New Years

But you know what they say hindsight is 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/colemacgrath2009
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My Son asked me if I had any regrets over the really expensive neck brace I bought...

Can honestly say I've never looked back

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carlitos_segway
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I regret every decision I’ve made that’s led to this moment.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chicken_mcjesus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My brother regrets many things in life but mostly he regrets not ever having a wild time before settling down and having kids.

Me? I have no rugrats.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Was on a date, made the joke, no regrets

We were walking down the street and I saw the upcoming intersection was "Fairwell Ave."

When we reached the crosswalk, I said I should head home, and then followed up with, "I guess this is farewell."

Eyes rolled but it was worth it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2016
🚨︎ report
β€ͺI regret quitting my job at the factory that made night wear for felines. I thought I was allergic to to some of the material we were working with. ‬ β€ͺ

But it turns out it wasn’t the cat’s pyjamas

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I have some deep-seated regret for covering my organs in gold.

I have internalized gilt.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastGhost18
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss accused me of stealing, and fired me from my job at the furniture store. But I regret nothing.

Sometimes you have to take a stand.

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Goats don't instinctively know, and have to find out for themselves, that if you sleep with a jackass, mule regret it.
πŸ‘︎ 278
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pnewell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
🚨︎ report
I might regret introducing my father to Reddit

A few days ago, my dad (who is a recent Reddit convert) and I were watching "American Hustle" and in the middle of the movie, Christian Bale's character opens up a safe at one of his dry cleaning businesses.

Dad taps me on the shoulder, leans over and says:

"OP Delivered"

He immediately began cackling as I groaned.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/msassafras
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2013
🚨︎ report
It is with deepest regret that I have to inform you all, my poultry dating site will be closing down,

as I can no longer make hens meet!

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I regret not getting the 20 oz porterhouse at the restaurant

It was a big missed steak

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LurkerPatrol
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I regret nothing
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adam-P-D
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I doodled at school. I regret nothing.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoYellow5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
When you regret ordering salmon over a New York strip

That's a... Missed steak

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadtoenail69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the former doctor regret becoming a prosecutor?

His new job was trying his patients.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanOfAllTrades80
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy quit his job as an air traffic controller to become a monk, and now regrets it.

It’s like he got out of flying plans and into the friar.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I regret buying a boomerang with teeth on my recent trip to Australia.

It came back to bite me.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I regret working at a German sausage company

It was the wurst decision of my life.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tsintzask
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2016
🚨︎ report
I regret asking my wife why she’s buying a giant tub of whiteout from the store.

Big mistake.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did he NSA whistleblower regret moving to Russia?

He was always snowed in/Snowden

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arugula278
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I regret not naming my baby Richard.

I could've been sending Dick pics all the time.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/talkboyy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
🚨︎ report
I entered a pull-up competition and I regret it.

The bar was set pretty high.

(I came up with this joke, though I would not be surprised if this, or a variant of the joke was on this sub.)

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orm40
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I regret trying to patent a giant boomerang with teeth.

It came back to bite me in a big way.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I really regret not watching a certain TV show in the 80's.....

......I guess I'm just experiencing Macguyver's guilt.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2016
🚨︎ report
I regret nothing

I've repeatedly told people that I regret nothing... Although in hindsight i dont know if that was the smartest choice

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/branchiewuzhere
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Sure I regret letting my dick pics get out there on the internet...

...but I guess that's just my crotch to bare.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I regret picking to study History alongside English at University.

My degree would have been completely lit.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laluchacontinua
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
🚨︎ report
I regret rubbing eyes with ketchup

But that’s Heinz sight

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abowlofspicyramen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the Greek God of regret?

Apollogies.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes.

But that's Heinz sight for you.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoneMoreHip
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I regret wiping my eyes with ketchup on my hands.

But that's Heinz sight for ya.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I really regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes last night...

that's Heinz sight for you.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmashAndCAD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
You will regret going vegan.

It's a huge missed steak.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sunny_E30
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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