https://puns.dev - The Worst Computer Puns on the Internet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/panthera_services
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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You need an IQ of 200 to get this computer pun.

A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

This is unoriginal, but it has been reposted so many times i can't even pund it anywhere in the web, I even asked my pet spider where it was orginally found.

Pun 1: >!A gigabyte is actually 1024 MB not 1000 MB!<

Pun 2: >!Spiders makes webs idiot.!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoatNoodles1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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My friend made the worst (best) computer pun while talking about how ridiculous 'hacker' images are. imgur.com/z7Cl1rx
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morganamilo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2015
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The Worst Computer Puns on the Internet

Why don’t Vikings like to send emails?

They prefer to use Norse code!

more dad style computer jokes at https://puns.dev

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πŸ‘€︎ u/panthera_services
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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Computer Puns

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.


Where’s the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.


A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.


If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.


There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.


In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?


Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.


Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.


Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.


An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks β€œmay I join you?”


Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.


Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.


How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It’s a hardware problem.


I named my hard drive β€œdat ass” so once a month my computer asks if I want to β€˜back dat ass up’.


I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.


I changed my password to β€œincorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say β€œYour password is incorrect”.


A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.


It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.


Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.


I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn’t have internet.


A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.


Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardwar

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
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Please help- Computer pun needed

for a tech class, i need a team name. I want a punny one. Any suggestions?

Edit: thanks so much!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_johnarch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
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How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.

They log off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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Did you hear about the computer technician who beat up his boss with computer parts?

It turns out he was a real keyboard warrior.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
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What do you call a singing computer?

A Dell

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy

I told: mom that why I am using a chair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spydercop69
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..

.. I was fried for no raisin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?

"Damn that was a hard drive."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FireOa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?

Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can’t rush the progress.

Chrome wasn’t built in a day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/w00dw0rk3r
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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My wife told me she would bang my head off the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.

I don't believe heryhhxfukklo8764eh89kg4ghi9hde3yhoonib7v6c5x4xv9n8vx4&6c79b9n

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theskyguyuk
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied

I was left to my own devices

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phoenixwarrior99
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
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My computer was running pretty hot

Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dickcheney600
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2021
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My 8 year old just told me this one.. What does the minister say when you marry a computer?

I now pronounce you man and wifi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mike-_-honcho
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.

She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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My computer asked me a Question.

My Pc asked me if it would ever be like a PlayStation or Xbox.

I told him no.

he's Inconsoleable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poppop8532
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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Did you see where the computer hacker went?

I dunno, he ransomware.

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πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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My computer wants to build a snowman.

It's frozen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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What is an astronaut's favorite part on a computer?

The space bar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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How does a computer learn things?

Bit by bit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theskyguyuk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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Why is Forrest Gump's computer always getting hacked?

His password is 1Forrest1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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What does a shark and a computer have in common ?

They both have megabytes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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I told my boss, β€œSorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What made the computer so smart?

Because he listened to his motherboard!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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I have a computer that does the exact opposite of what you tell it to do

it talks so if it's being annoying just say "open down"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NearDead-Star
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer

Now he can processor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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What happened to the plane run by a computer?

It crashed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwyzh
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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Do not use β€œBeefstew” as your computer password

It’s not stroganoff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corvette-Ronnie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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Pun about computer

I am learning how to Excel in spreadsheets in my computer science class

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?

They just ransomware.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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How does a computer get drunk?

It takes screen shots.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.

I suppose you CTRL C

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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I had to call tech support for my computer the other day.

Tech Support: β€œIt seems as though your operating system was installed backwards.”

Me: β€œSo?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLaziestPotato
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
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Why can't elephants use computers?

Because they're scared of the mouse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperGrandPatzer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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What is an astronauts favourite key on a computer

A space bar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.

I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What do you call a computer that plays tennis?

A server

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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My computer broke, and my boss told me to take it to the IT guy

So I went outside and threw it in the sewer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crimsonangel68
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Why couldn't the computer get to work on time?

It had a hard drive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/macuser06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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How do computers eat?

One byte at a time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/user_potat0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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How does a computer learn new things?

Bit by bit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperGrandPatzer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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