Why did J. S. Bach always wear really skimpy bathing suits?
He loved to feel the air on the G string.
I said to my wife “I hate to tell you this babe, but your bathing suit is too revealing and tight”
She said “then wear your own one then”
What do you call a paralyzed zoo keeper's bathing suit?
I was going to try out winter bathing...
Unfortunately, I got cold feet
My wife got mad at me for kicking the dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator. Then told me I was terrible with directions. And then she added that I should stop cross dressing in her clothes. She also didn't like the female neighbor sun bathing nude in her backyard.
I nearly shit her pants, even though the ice-incident was water under the fridge! I was on the fence about the neighbor sun-bathing nude, but I packed her things and right anyway.
A promiscuous girl ponders while bathing
They call her a shower thot
What kind of bathing suit does a monk wear?
Bathing regularly helps prevent malaria...
Malaria is carried by mosquitos, but if you're clean, then your toes aren't musky any more.
My wife bought me a bathing suit that was way too big...
I was practically swimming in it.
TIL about the silent P in "bathing suit"
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Dialysis is a blood bath.
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
I gave the cat a bath last week..
I still can't taste anything
What's the difference between a bath tub and an alligator?
(Dad waits for the common response: "I don't know, what?")
Then I'd advice you to never take a bath.
I'd like to plug my wife's attempt to cross the Atlantic in a bath tub.
But it's too late....she sank.
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her bath. She then got mad at me!!
Some people are so ungrateful. I used an entire pencil adding details to it and everything :(
[Just thought of this. I'm pretty happy with myself right now.]
I just dropped my phone in the bath
How does the moon take a bath?
I was alone in the bath
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
How did the Italian wife tell her husband he needed a bath?
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
Archimedes took a bath and then said "Eureka!"
When I smell myself, I say "You reek-a!" and then take a bath.
Two monkeys are sat in the bath. One says "oooh oooh aah aah"
The other says "well put some more cold in then"
A nun is having a bath when she hears a knock of the door....
She says "who is it?"
"It's the blind man" comes the response.
Ok, thinks the nun. "Come in then".
In walks the man; "nice tits, now where do you want this blind?"
My wife asked me to give the cat a bath today while she was at work
My tongue is soo sore right now.
There were two monkeys sitting in the bath
One says to the other: 'oooooo eeeeee oooooo aaaaa'
The other says: 'put the cold tap on then!'
The doctor insisted I take a milk bath, so I asked her if it need to be pasteurized...
She said no, just above the knees.
Two monkeys in a bath one said ohh ohh ahh ahh and the other one said
Ok ok I will put some cold in then
Had a really tough day today. I figured you would appreciate that my wife suggested I peruse r/dad jokes while she drew me a relaxing bath.
I asked her if it was going to be full color or just a sketch.
My daughter asked me if I can make her a bath
I’ve never built a bath before, can someone help me with plumbing it in?
My wife had a hard day at work, so I drew her a warm bath...
She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge anyway...
Edit: I thunk up a better punchline.
I read you can buy half a pillowcase down at Bed Bath and Beyond!
Turns out it was a total sham
A German friend of mine actually installed a bath around his desk !?..
Why do ghosts avoid Bed Bath and Beyond after eating Taco Bell?
They don’t want to get the sheets!
What gift did the snakes get from their wedding registry?
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
What's the best kinda bath bomb
What do you call a terrorist in the bath
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
Told my son to go take a bath. He said no.
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
.....you have more bath room, but less bathroom.
My wife looked shocked....
When I dropped that toaster in the bath.
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
What do you call james bond taking a bath?
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
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